Todays Tales

Credit to Manchester City, they cotton on quick. Six years after everyone else realised, they’ve noticed they could do with upgrading their full backs. Therefore they’d like to offer Monaco sack full of cash for Benjamin Mendy who I am told is better than Gael Clichy. That hardly makes Mendy a world beater though, so let’s hope he is much better than Gael Clichy.

Pep isn’t too fussed about that deal though, he is still hoping to save his managerial reputation or, as some of us look at it, prove his managerial reputation by signing Messi and winning everything.

I started writing this Tales column at the same time as Sutton against Arsenal kicked off. I can report that in the space of 100 words, Arsenal have not embarrassed themselves but, predictably, Tim Vine has by not really knowing anything about the side he “supports.” Mind you, Tim has probably been waiting years to get back on the BBC and his comedy wasn’t going to do it. Still, I cannot tell you that Sutton are “Not Going Out” yet.

Apparently Barcelona are not as keen on Ronald Koeman as Ronald is keen on them. No, Barca are casting flirtatious gazes across the room to Tottenham’s manager, Pochettino. Whether Pochettino fancies trying to be the guy to manage the first Barca team without Messi for a decade remains to be seen. Though it would be great to see Harry Kane taking corners in the Camp Nou. I know, I know he doesn’t take them for Spurs. Shhh.

It’s still 0-0 at Gander Green Lane.

Liverpool still want Leicester’s young left back Ben Chilwell, despite the news that he was too intimidated by the Millwall fans to take throw ins. Bless. He will do well at Old Trafford then, or in the Merseyside derby. Better still, an away day in Turkey?

Jose is still interested in Oxlade-Chamberlain apparently because, frankly, I cannot think of another Arsenal player to jump ship recently and win the Premier League somewhere else.

Arsene claimed before the game he was a little concerned by the tie being played on a 3g pitch. He opted to give Ozil a rest, though I am not convinced he will be anymore rested by not playing than he would be by putting in a full 90 minutes of Mesut workrate in the game itself.

As I sign off for the night, it’s still 0-0. I backed Arsenal to win 5-1. If you don’t get a post on Wednesday morning, you know why.