Todays Tales

I really do hope that Craig Shakespeare is making full use of his surname, because we are. I would love to think that the pre-match team talks have included, “Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” followed by a bit of, “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man” and ended with some “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.” For who are we to suggest the last quote might be most apt for the Leicester players? Shakespeare also said, “Life … is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing” but I am not completely sure he didn’t mean “Tales is football life told by an idiot” as I am sure you could all agree that would be more apt. Anyway, the interim Leicester boss looks like he has got the gig for the rest of the season, probably queuing some less than average performances in the next few games.

There have been some famously staged footballing handshakes over the years, and some non-handshakes, and whilst Spurs were getting hammered over Kane and Alli at the weekend, I was more interested in the one Wenger and Sanchez spent ages rehearsing and planning yesterday. It was vital they got this one right first time, as it was to be beamed to the world. They nailed it, and I am sure we all totally believe that everything is perfect between them and Arsenal are now set to rule the world, starting with overturning the score against Bayern. I wrote this before kick off and I am quietly confident that I can tell you Arsenal did not come back and beat Munich. How random would it be if I were wrong?

There are also rumours that Arsenal will have a pink kit next season. It’s almost as if Ozil and Sanchez didn’t need anymore reasons to jump ship.

Chelsea are just getting on with business, aren’t they? Diego Costa has said his January row was nothing, which is player speak for “I am ready to sign that new contract with a bumper pay rise.”

Finally, despite Zlatan’s innocent pleas with that cherubic little angel face of him, the FA have thrown the book at him. In Zlatan’s head he brought the book down on his knee, flicked it up and volleyed it back at the FA, but even with such skill he was given a three match ban. Mings, well he might get more for daring to do Zlatan.