My worst fears were realized over the long weekend: Citeh, Arsenic, Spares & Chelski all into the semis, so predictably boring – eh, Jose? ‘Bout time Herrera got found out, asked for it, cost United, end of… City and Spurs easy. Bit Christians & lions at the Emirates, what? I could hardly bring myself to watch the predictable savage mauling of plucky little non-league Lincoln in the north London Coliseum, you’d think Arsenal had won it from their reaction.
Currently the most fascinating fun factor there is the Gunnerial Civil War tearing the club apart. The Roundheads are the fiery young yobbos (led by uncouth Piers Morgan) who cannot stand the weekly taunts from down the Lane and everywhere football else any more, railing against the long-suffering Cavaliers, still backing their aristocratic but decaying leader, that ‘king Arsene… These older, long-memoried, grateful, respectful Gooners mistily remember the glory days long ago when the likes of Henry, Bergkamp, Viera, Adams and Seaman strutted their stuff arrogantly round Highbury… The plain truth today is that Sin-Sanchez Arsenal are just not good enough against the usual ‘orrible suspects in the senior six (or seven on a good Merseyside day, read on). Cup semi v City? Arsene’s last stand. Chelsea v Spurs? Bring it on…
It’s official: it’s open season on Shakespearean syntax now, isn’t it? Romelu, Romelu, wherefore art thou? Lurkio Lukaku’s only top of the goal scoring charts now – what sayest thou, shy Jose? Sure, agreed, West Brom got tanked 3 – 0 by 7th placed Everton who are silently shadowing the Superior Six. But hey, spare a thought for the Baggies below the Toffees nailed in eighth. They say Tony Pulis has never finished in the Top Ten of the Prem, so despite some sarky slagging off by posey purists, with little cash like the big boys above TP deserves credit for using some surplus substitutes – like Jonny Evans and Darren Fletcher – to great effect. P’raps if Wenger tried the track suit and baseball cap look instead of the Brentford nylon one piece? Nah, too late…
Question: shouldn’t you have a decent-sized home stadium to be in the Prem? 11,000 for a King-sized, rip-roaring 3 – 2, sixteen pointer win against fellow worriers is pathetic. Those sarf coast Cherries regularly serve up thrilling, high-scoring (soiled) matches, clean sheets are not provided at Dean Court. Hey, pal, it’s not much better, there’s spare seats on Humberside: at the KCOM Hull City were backed by a mere 19,000 souls, straining to support their Tigers and claw themselves back from the DDD to civilization – as befits the 2017 City of Culture. Swansea were certainly subdued since striker Llorente was heavily dealt with. Science homework: is Silva turning to gold at the KCOH (chemical formula there somewhere). What a finish there’s going through be down ‘dere in de Dreaded Drop Department this season. There’s still elevenish games to go, and a massive 33 points available. If the top’s a bit boring, the bottom isn’t!
P.S. East Midlands Gazette: Steve McClaren sacking? Don’t make me laugh, I’ve got a split lip…