That was the week that was

A lot’s riding on the Red Devils’ Europa final against Ajax tomorrow.. Toothless-in-the-Prem United are clinging to the wreckage of another poor season by their own glorious standards. Sixth place for the club revered world-wide is definitely not good enough: Mourinho’s men ‘n boys just must win this one – or Mourinho’s place must be questionable having spent £142m, a figure lesser Prem teams can only dream of…
Money? I see Big Noddy, aka ‘king Ibra is struggling along on £368k per week, plus £2.85m bonus for his 28 goals this year: obscenity rules, FA. Injury is currently threatening the Swede’s everything until maybe 2018 when the old boy will be 36. In comparison ‘poor’ prince Pogba plods along on only £165k a week, although his 41 page contract is stuffed full of favourable French financial facts and figures… and all that mazoomah to come sixth. Oh, and Mou himself and yesterday’s Rooney are well minted too. Bit sick and sad Wayne wasted £500,000 at the casino, worra wanker. Oh, and United only finished In sixth place, did I mention that? Ask Moyes and van Gaal for their comments on that. But hey, the real money-spinner winner is …Raiola… Who he then, who he play for? No silly, he’s the Italian agent involved who trousered over £41m in the Pogba deal alone.

Similarly to MU the fifth-placed Gunners must beat Chelski in the Cup Final next week, or else, eh, Arsene? Game’s up, old Frogman, allez ffs..

Blue is the colour… Captain, leader, legend? Try yob, wag-shagger, and a feisty racist with an uncanny ability, right up to the end of shooting himself and his team in the foot – and head… Yes, JT is going at last, it’s fervently hoped outside the Bridge. Last week against wacky Watford the big wazzock went from hero to zero in 30 seconds once more at both ends, takes a special idiot to do that. In direct contrast David Luiz came back, saw and re-conquered all this season, aided by Gary Cahill and Conte’s other kids – they’re all the good reasons Chelsea stormed the Prem this season, not Jokey Johnny or MizMou.

Well done secondary Spurs, sloppy City and the Pool for getting to the Champions League – maybe youthful Yoonited will join them by jumping into the Europa Guards Van – if they win. Anyone know how good the Dutch are these days, isn’t Dennis Bergkamp the number two there – a possible replacement for yoonowho in North London? Bring it on Dennis, loved your class…

Good performance in the valleys from Swansea where Paul Clement at last came good, well done boyo. That was a great fight back considering when the big man took over the Swans were three points adrift at the bottom of the Prem. Some achievement that, ask Suffering Sunderland whose luck finally ran out and must now swap leagues with those nasty neighbours in black and white stripes – ooh, how painful is that?

East Midland Gazette – wow, that was close for Forest. Together with staying up I just pray now we can crack on with new owners next season and play/beat our nasty neighbours like Derby and Burton. Hope poor old Blackburn get rid of their awful owners and start rebuilding with someone who cares about football and the long-suffering fans.