Todays Tales

So it looks like Crystal Palace might be complete spoil sports and call an early end to the experiment of bringing total football to Croydon. Rumour has it, and let’s be honest that is all we deal with on Tales, that the board are already considering Frank de Boer’s position as they are concerned about (a) results and (b) is lack of willing to change. Stick at it Frank, Arsene has been guilty of those charges for at least a decade now.

It’s not all good news for Palace fans though. The club are looking to sign Jose Fonte from West Ham. That’s exactly what Palace need to do, add to their already hapless list of defenders.

Liverpool fans have been sold a good ‘un. Still high from their 4-0 hammering of Arsenal, the Liverpool board felt it would be a good idea to announce the fact that they have failed to sign Naby Keita this season, and dress it up as something very, very exciting for next season. And Liverpool fans have fallen for it hook, line and sinker. Since when did football have a shelf life of anything further ahead than next week? There is a lot of football to be played between now and then, anything could happen. The fact is, Liverpool wanted him now and they failed to get him now. RB Leipzig win on all accounts as they get another year out of him, some guaranteed big money to look forward to and a whole year to source a replacement. But yes Liverpool fans, this is very exciting news.

Lots of places are suggesting that Philippe Coutinho will be a Barcelona player before the window shuts, but then an equal amount are suggesting that he will still be at Anfield. That helps nobody, who are we to believe? This is football folks, you believe nobody. AS Monaco’s Thomas Lemar has said he wants to leave the club, probably having heard Arsene Wenger suggest that Monaco have told him for the last time the midfielder is not for sale. Not that Lemar wants to join Arsenal, oh no. He watched the game on Sunday. He wants to join Jurgen Klopp and not get laughed at every time he plays a top six side.

Arsene Wenger hit out at players after the game at Anfield, laying the blame squarely at their feet. Sadly, the players tried to bring the blame under control but it bounced off them at right angles. Arsene, it is all very well blaming the players but you signed them and lined them up like that. Aaron Ramsey said “something has to change” after the game. Yes, Aaron. Players like you.

Antonio Conte saw enough of Jeremie Boga in the 15 minutes he played before Gary Cahill got sent off on the opening day to see exactly where the Chelsea youngster fits into his plans. Birmingham. The Dutch hot prospect is off to learn his trade under Harry Redknapp, which seems a bit harsh as he only got 15 minutes against Burnley and wasn’t his fault they lost.

Tottenham Hotspur still want PSG’s Serge Aurier, because that is what is going to help them actually win at Wembley. They are also believed to have agreed on a deal for Juan Foyth, the Argentine defender. With all these new defenders coming in Kevin Wimmer needs a new club, so is off to Stoke City. Inter have started the Serie A season rather well but seem happy to ruin all their good work and have enquired about Moussa Sissoko. Don’t get too excited Spurs fans, he would only be going there on loan which means there is a big chance he’d be coming back.

The Championship always throws up a couple of new young players that start the season like houses on fire and catch the eyes of Premier League clubs just dying to spend some of their hard earned TV money. Therefore it looks like Cardiff City might sacrifice their incredibly unlikely start to the season and flog Kenneth Zohore to Everton or Brighton for way more than he is really worth. Talking of Championship players moving up to the top flight, Robert Green is back in the big time having agreed to join Huddersfield Town until the end of the season.

Rafa Benitez is still desperate to sign more players but looks like he has missed out on Inter’s Stevan Jovetic who has, shockingly, chosen AS Monaco who come with Champions League football and life on the French Riveria ahead of a relegation battle and life in the North East. And they say footballers are stupid.

UEFA are expected to look into Kylian Mbappe’s proposed loan move to PSG from Monaco. I have respect for PSG’s approach – they are working on the fact that it is such a flagrant breach of the rules that nobody will notice. It’s the football equivalent of strolling into the bank in broad daylight and emptying the tills whilst chatting merrily to the staff. UEFA, of course, will find nothing wrong with any of this whatsoever.