Just how many ridiculously good goals is it gonna take for this beautiful man to be taken seriously? The big French forward was up to his usual antics again last night with another gloriously taken acrobatic effort, but when will Wenger finally realise that this legend is the right man to start for the Gunners?
Everyone knows Arsene prefers the obviously talented Alexandre Lacazette for the so-called ‘big’ games, and so poor Olivier is left to strut his stuff in the agonisingly painful competition that is the Europa League, a tournament involving teams that could literally be filled with ineligible players or sides that field 12 men every game, but nobody really cares enough to check.
The fact that Giroud only gets game time in the lesser competitions then really gives many a football fan a searing headache, given that the lanky striker starts ahead of his fellow club-mate for the national team. Well, more often than not, and perhaps the last two games prove just how magical the man is in front of goal, where Lacazette started the 1-0 victory in Bulgaria as the super-sub Giroud came on in the 84th minute to single-handedly see out the win, picking up a cheeky booking in the process. However, fast-forward three days later and Olivier not only starts but finds the net in a 2-1 win over the mighty-Belarus, where Lacazette couldn’t even convince Deschamps to give him a minute on the pitch. A tragic feat really, considering he only had to out-compete the likes of Antoine Griezmann and Kylian Mbappe…embarrassing m8.
But back to the big beautiful boy himself, yet another worldy of a goal in a long list of delicious strikes. Think then of that glorious flick against Southampton many years ago, or any one of his hundreds of first time, outside of the boot, near post finishes with that wand of a left foot. Look no further however than his Puskas-nominated belter at home to Crystal Palace on the 1st of January of this year, giving the footballing world perhaps the greatest New Year’s gift of all. He does of course chip in with countless assists for the Gunners as well, with some ridiculous touches and incomparable hold up play that many a forward would be proud of.
His fantastic efforts pre-Arsenal include a phenomenal season for Montpellier, where Giroud finished the season with 21 goals and 9 assists, guiding his side to their first league title in the club’s history. Ligue 1 had to choose between Giroud and PSG’s Nene for that season’s top scorer, yet took the brilliant decision to award the former with the trophy, simply due to his elegance on the pitch*.
He followed those accolades up with arguably the most important of his career to date, namely as the ‘Hottest Premier League Player’ in 2015, a year after becoming the face of Hugo Boss’s ‘Boss Bottled’ men’s fragrance, later citing David Beckham as an aspiration for the way he looks.
Giroud bagged his 100th Gunners goal in the 4-2 victory at Bate Borisov in late September, becoming their top goal scorer since August 2012, a country mile ahead of the lowly Alexis Sanchez, who only has 73 to his name, pathetic really.
He’s sadly up there with another great bench warmer in the all-time Premier League substitute goals list, joint on a mighty 14 with the one and only Peter Crouch. Big Crouchy has however had the last laugh with an incredible 38 headed goals in the all-time Premier League list, with Giroud on a measly 26, but the Frenchman certainly has the years on the Stoke forward.
That glorious Paddy Power advert of Giroud and several other Arsenal stars endorsing Rainbow Laces to kick homophobia out of football remains permanently etched into the brain, with the man himself remaining incredibly humble, muttering the words “I can’t change that I am gorgeous” followed by the cheekiest of winks.
Will the formidable Frenchman get the nod at Everton on Sunday? As they say, only time will tell, but here’s hoping that we all get to see that quiff make an impression on the Premier League this season as it has on the Europa League. It may not be a popular opinion, but the guy’s far too good to be warming a bench.
*He was actually awarded top goal scorer for bagging more goals from open play…