Predictable League

I’m just going to say what we’ve all been thinking. How shit has the Premier League been this season? Honestly, you could probably have predicted the majority of the results apart from the odd one. Burnley’s win over Chelsea was a surprise, as was Huddersfield’s over Manchester United. Liverpool’s losses to Manchester City and Spurs were only really surprising due to the magnitude of the defeat, as was Liverpool’s win over Arsenal. Everything else has been easy to see coming. It’s makes for some really boring viewing. It isn’t helped when Sky are showing the likes of West Ham and Watford as their 4 o’clock kick off on a Sunday afternoon and christening it ‘Super Sunday’. Seriously fellas, have a good long look at yourselves before someone sues you for false advertising. Something needs to change soon otherwise I might have to start watching Cricket again before the Ashes finishes.

Big Sam, Big Balls

Got your attention now? Good. This big, hairy bastard got away with murder at Anfield on Sunday. Big Sam said in an interview last week that he’d be foolish to turn up for the derby looking to play expansive football against a side that was better than his. Is right Sam, endearing yourself to your new fans already. What a way to introduce yourself. He also said after the Huddersfield game that if he had to turn up to these games looking to frustrate his opposition, then he would without hesitation. And he wonders why the bluenoses have been moaning about him. Well he stuck to his word at the weekend. His main aim was to bore Liverpool to death before snatching a lucky goal, and he got exactly what he wanted. It’s common knowledge that I’m a Liverpool fans, so I won’t go into too much of a biased rant. However, what a fucking borefest it must have been for you neutrals. At least I had the hope and anticipation a big game brings. You lot had to suffer Jordan Pickford twatting it out of play every time he picked it up. Lucky you.

Of course there was murder in the tunnel

This is Jose Mourinho we’re talking about, it was never going to be as simple as giving Pep a handshake at the final whistle and having banter during the game. He was never going to accept defeat with grace was he, especially considering how poorly his side played. The man is a pariah and he needs to be centre of attention. I understand like, if you’re team plays as badly as that then you don’t want the attention on them. So what do you do? Well you cause iron girder in the tunnel of course. Apparently is started when Mourinho went into the City dressing room to ask them to lower their music, which Ederson took exception to. Cue a glass (or cup, or bottle. It could have been any type of contained in fairness) of milk taking flight and Mourinho ends up covered in the white stuff while Mikel Arteta gets his head split open. Christ, la. How did the Old Trafford tunnel turn into Crocky Crew vs. Nogga Dogs?