You’re Un-Invincible

Liverpool became the first Premier League team to claim victory over Manchester City, ruining their chance to become the first “Invincible” team since Arsenal’s 2003/2004 season.

It was a thrilling and exciting game of football, with both defences leakier than a 16-year-old girl at a One Direction concert.

2 Quality strikers finishes from both Oxlaide Chamberlain and Sane left the game finely balanced at 1-1 as the game reached the halfway point. Firminio took advantage of his romantic relationship with John Stones as it seemed all John wanted to do was have a cuddle, but Firminio said no I’m not having any of it, this is a work environment and bounced him out of the way before looping the ball into the net as the City defence looked on. Before wheeling away and pulling his shirt off to celebrate.

Sadio Mane made it three after Otamendi gifted Liverpool the ball deep in City territory which led to a nice move and the net bulging. Ederson is obviously bored of being a keeper, but with his venture outside of the box, he gifted the ball to Salah who wasted no time in knocking the ball into an empty net, before proceeding to kiss the grass.

Hipster Geography teacher Jurgen Klopp was jumping for joy, but his words have come to haunt him, he obviously told his players to study their opponents and learn from them, and learn from them they did as on the 82nd minute Liverpool’s defence decided to crumble just like their counterparts.

The grass obviously didn’t appreciate being kissed by a Liverpool player and got its own back as substitute Milner fell over on the ball allowing City to break through the Liverpool defence, in a move where more people ended up on the floor than on a lubed up bouncy castle.

Liverpool will be looking to line up next week in an 8-1-1 formation as having 7 people in the box obviously wasn’t working for them as Sane still managed to slip around the majority of the team before slipping it to Aguero, who was in no danger of anyone making a challenge and set up Gundogan to bring it back within one goal.

Aguero made Jurgen Klopp’s bum wobble a little as he almost evened the score in the dying minutes, but Liverpool managed to hold on and take down the undefeated City.

Arsene Wenger will be extremely happy as he holds on to the record of the only undefeated Premier League season, something he’s managed to live off for over 10 years without needing to achieve much more else.

In other news: Stoke City have announced that Paul Lambert will be taking over, an appointment that is obviously looking forward to next year, as Paul has tonnes of Championship experience that I’m sure will come in handy.

About the Author

David Wroe
Stand Up Comic/ Presenter based in the south west of England.