It’s that time of night again where I can take a minute to relax after an intense day. Aside from my dissertation, due in 4 days time, I found myself recording a choir in a chapel in Durham. Of course, this meant missing my weekly 6-a-side game, so anyone reading this solely for the recent promise of other people’s witty team names might as well stop now. I’m afraid this week I can’t hide behind anyone else’s football wordplay. To be honest, if this muse equates to 2 minutes of your life you’ll never get back, I’ll have to blame it on the altitude – this is, after all, the most North I’ve ever been. That’s how this works, isn’t it? In truth, I need another injection of inspiration – another Nathan Dyer, if you will; a poor, unfortunate soul that grabs my attention and makes me write entirely unfair “jokes” about an in-form player.
On my trip to the North however, I did write haikus in order to provide my host with hourly updates of the journey. An example of such a haiku is provided below:
It’s pissing it down
in Doncaster, take me home;
a warmer climate.
And then it hit me. Perhaps the humble haiku is my new Nathan Dyer. And so, without further waffling, we enter the realm of footballing haikus. I’ll start with Swansea, to rid me of my Dyer demons. I’ll even dedicate two verses to the Welsh side:
Ah, Swansea City.
So often the team trailing.
Remember Michu?
But – new boss, good form.
A man spouting metaphors;
safe? And a cup run?
I then felt inspired to write about Arsenal:
Mkhitaryan.
How has one man taken up
this entire poem?
Shifting across North London to Tottenham:
Kane on the sidelines,
out of the Champions League.
The Son still shining.
I couldn’t leave Chelsea alone after Conte’s comments on Wednesday night:
Losing to Barca
is apparently unfair.
It was 3-0, mate.
And to end, my usual grumble about the state of Birmingham City:
Why 2 ‘r’s, Garry?
We could do with some ‘W’s
after 8 straight ‘L’s.
Depending on the success of these haikus, I may chuck one in every now and again in future muses. We’ll have to see how many more inspiring trips to the North await.