Thank goodness the Premier League is back, hey?  I don’t think I could face another week without it.  In preparation for my debut on FANTVuk tonight, I thought I would share my show notes with you as they kinda preview this weekend’s round of matches.

Manchester Derby

  • Why haven’t Sky mentioned it?  I’d have thought they would have put it on our radar what with being such a big game.
  • I have silly visions of Jose and Zlatan huddling in the corner talking about how much they hate Pep.  I’m still convinced it is the main reason Zlatan joined United was so he and Jose could get their own backs.
  • Wayne Rooney got some practise in for the match playing so deep for England – Jose will be looking to see if he can actually camp all 11 United players in their own penalty area

Bournemouth vs WBA

  • Eddie Howe has worked out to manage Jack Wilshere – don’t let him train or play that much.  By that token Jack should be the fittest player in the land
  • Chadli is likely to make his debut for WBA even though Pulis has said he was not his signing
  • Berahino will probably be on the bench again to clear his head after not getting a move
  • Pulis nearly quit due to poor transfer activity giving WBA fans two reasons to be sad – firstly the poor transfer activity and secondly Pulis not quitting

Arsenal vs Southampton

  • Arsene has been saying this is the most mature squad he has had for a long time – is that a little nod to Jack Wilshere? To be fair Wilshere did spend most of the summer carrying around a cuddly lion on his back
  • Cheese matures if you leave it alone long enough, doesn’t mean it’s going to taste nice in the end though
  • Southampton – Puel is my pick to be the first manager sacked this season

Burnley vs Hull

  • Now here is a game to get the pulse racing – relegation certainties against potential champions, Hull?
  • We will see how good Mike Phelan is – easy to pick a team when you only have 12 players (he must really not rate Maloney)
  • Andre Gray would probably like to get himself in the headlines for the right reasons this week
  • Nothing of value at all

Middlesboro vs Palace

  • Pardew will have spent all week on working  out how to lump it to Benteke so that he can flick it on to Remy, and now Remy is out injured for two months
  • If Palace though having one Benteke in the side was bad enough, they might now line up with two – younger brother Jonathan in line for a debut
  • Middlesboro have put together a decent side, blend of local boys and Spanish players who should be doing better in their careers than playing for Middlesboro

Stoke vs Spurs

  • Bony & Bruno Martins Indi will start for Stoke – as ever seem like brilliant signings but no doubt Hughes will find a way to make them worse
  • Spurs will hope to show that they can win games carrying a very tired dead weight up front

West Ham vs Watford

  • Zaza and Payet set to start.
  • Bilic taught us something in the week, telling us West Ham were a better side with Payet in the team.  I don’t know how stupid he thinks Hammers fans are, but I think they will have worked that out for themselves.
  • With the pitch being so far away from the stands, there is every chance Zaza could balloon a penalty over and it not reach Row Z
  • Watford might pick Kenedy, which any player of Football Manager will know can only be a good thing

Liverpool vs Leicester

  • Ranieri has challenged Vardy to be England’s top striker – Harry Kane is already helping Vardy prove that
  • Henderson has said it has been hard to believe that he is Liverpool captain – not just for you, hey Jordan?  Imagine how the fans who remember Graeme Souness or Alan Hansen must feel
  • Kloppo wants to use the “power” of an extra 8,500 fans in the new Main Stand.  To be fair Jurgen, you’re going to have to give all those new people from all around the world a little bit more time to understand which team they are actually cheering for before relying on their help.  Mind you, they will probably notice within five minutes that you should have signed a left back.

Swansea vs Chelsea

  • Chelsea’s extensive recruitment network led them to a player they must already know cannot defend – David Luiz
  • Conte said during the week that he very much see’s Luiz’s best position at centre back – that doesn’t mean he actually rates him there though
  • JT, having spent a few seasons already bailing out Luiz after mistake after mistake is thought to be considering calling it a day on Monday as he can’t face going through that again

Sunderland vs Everton

  • There has to be a part of Moyes looking at Everton now with their new found money and wishing he’d never left.
  • Everton seem reborn under Koeman, it’s almost like asking them to do a little bit of defending from time to time was all they needed