Frank Lampard has had enough of New York and fancies one final dalliance with his true home, Chelsea.  Having seen David Luiz return to South West London he thinks he might still be able to do a job for Conte.  Rather being a midfielder that used to arrive late in the opponent’s box he has had to change his game Stateside.  Lamps is now a midfielder who just stands in the opponent’s box.  I would imagine he has had a look at Kante and thought, “yeah he could do my running for me!”  Well Frank, he is a workhorse but not that much of a workhorse.

Lampard returning to Chelsea probably won’t happen, I am just scrabbling around for things to write about on this second week of international mushiness.  Tomorrow I might talk about Gerrard coming back to ruin Liverpool’s title chances.  Except Chelsea fans, he’s already done that hasn’t he!

Ronald Koeman is a strange one isn’t he.  First he says that Romelu Lukaku, his team’s best doer of putting the ball in the net, should move to a bigger club and then he goes and says Liverpool will win the league.  He hasn’t really captured the Merseyside mood yet, has he?  Mind you, he will have further endeared himself to the red side of the city by picking a verbal fight with Roy Keane.

Arsene Wenger said it would be “suicidal” for Sanchez to play for Chile in this international break.  He didn’t say who would be topping themselves though.  My money is now on Wenger as Chile have deigned Arsenal’s best hope of winning the Premier League fit to play against Uruguay.

West Ham have stated that they hope Dimi Payet will stay at the London Stadium for many years to come.  You can never really tell what is going on behind the scenes at West Ham, so this is either them subliminally telling everyone that West Ham will also continue to play here for many, many years or Payet might be taking up the triple jump.  Mind you, with his ability to fall over in the exact areas that he likes to take a free kick from, some cynic would suggest he is already very good at that athletic discipline.  Not me though.

West Ham are apparently “weighing up” a January move for Watford’s Troy Deeney.  Being the big lad up top, “weighing up” is easily the most suitable phrase for this potential move.

Harry Kane and Hugo Lloris, yes Harry and Hugo those working class footballers, are apparently not going to get to bottle a title challenge in Tottenham’s new stadium.  The two have just caught up on the news that Sissoko is on double the money that they bring in and they are, frankly, far from impressed.  You can see their point, well especially Kane’s.  I mean whilst he was kicking corners into the hands of the opposition goalkeeper in the summer, Sissoko was only tearing it up like the French Ronaldo.  Mind you, since then he is playing more like the fattest version of the Brazilian Ronaldo who is about 42 now.  In years that is, not stone.

Dafabet, proud sponsors of Sunderland Football Club, have announced their odds on favourites to be relegated from the Premier League this season.  Yes, you are ahead of me.  They are tipping Sunderland Football Club for the drop.  I wonder what odds they are giving on Moyes to be the next manager sacked?

Wayne Rooney missed training with England yesterday with a “minor issue.”  Feel free to insert your own punchline, I’ve run out of ones for Wayne this season.  Gary Neville announced he is unlikely to ever return to management before also suggesting he would drop Rooney and Zlatan from United’s starting line up.  But Gary, that move tells me you still have some management left in you.  Don’t give up yet.  Neville also let Beckham out of his ultimate 5-aside team.  I’m sure that would have had something to do with the amount of overlapping runs Gary went on outside of Beckham, only to see his best mate ping it into the box.

Finally, Spanish forward Lucas Perez has “joked” that it has been hard to learn English at Arsenal.  Lucas, Jack Wilshere wholeheartedly agrees.