World Cup 2018 Roundup

In the run up to the England Vs Spain match there have been rumours floating around all the papers that Gareth Southgate will be offered the England manager role on a permanent basis after the Spain game.

Southgate has been in temporary charge of the England side after Sam Allardyce was unceremoniously dumped as manager, despite being the only England manager to have a 100% record. However he was revealed by an undercover journalist offering seedy advice to seedy businessman, and he was just too Northern to be allowed the job for too long.

Gareth Southgate arguably faces his biggest challenge against Spain, who have fallen from the times they were regarded as the best footballing nation about, now they’re about as exciting as a middle aged strip bar, and probably performing just as well.

Joe Hart has praised Wayne Rooney for making it easy for other leaders to emerge in the squad, which is a real middle finger to the Swamp dwelling Manchester United star, as the only reason other leaders are emerging in the squad is because Rooney is spending more time on the bench than a homeless man in a park.

Southgate would be the sensible choice, as he’s young, English, ambitious and most of all cheap. He worked with many of the players in the u21s and it feels like all the players want there favourite teacher to become the head master.

While Southgate looks more likely to be burdened with the England job after the 3-0 victory over Scotland, opposing manager Gordon Strachan is under increasing pressure, the most lacklustre uninspired Scotland team for years is performing as if they are lacklustre and uninspired.

Hopefully the Scotland managers job goes down to a vote, because the way voting is going this year its likely that David Tennant would get the job, and he could jump in the TARDIS and travel back in time to when Scotland actually had a decent football team.

Many people are getting excited at Gareth’s unbeaten record, but then after the Euros unfortunately England must consider it an achievement to be beating part time footballing nations, the real test of this reign will undoubtedly be against Spain, they may have fallen down the FIFA world rankings but they are definitely a force to be reckoned with, and with England having Rooney on the bench, and Harry Kane out with injury, they might actually have a chance of scoring a goal.

Spain beat England 2-0 last time out so hopefully Southgate’s young squad can soak up the challenge and come out on top.

Elsewhere Edin Dzeko thought the referee was pants, this is the news that during the Bosnia Vs Greece match, Edin Dzeko received a red card, for pulling down his opponents shorts, in a bizarre turn of events Dzeko took exception to the ball being grabbed off of him after being given a free kick, and in retaliation thought he’d expose some Calvins as revenge, although with the economy in Greece it was more likely Calvinos from a strange man in a market somewhere. You can understand his frustration though, I often find that the best way to express annoyance with someone is to attempt to remove there clothing, and it turns out my girlfriend is very very annoyed with me, and also the milkman, he must not be delivering it on time again.

And finally, it emerges that Bastian Schweinsteiger is holding talks with Chicago Fire as it seems increasingly likely he’ll leave the club in January, Bastian will be rushing to get the deal done quickly before America’s new president elect puts a blanket ban on immigration, although Trump will mainly be targeting Ethnic minorities, after making them build a giant wall that is, it is thought that he will stretch to dodgy looking Germans, and to be fair he’d probably be doing Chicago Fire a favour.