A stat worth noting.  In 47 minutes, Lucas Perez equalled the tally scored by Spurs in all five of their Champions League matches so far.  Playing out of position.  See Arsenal fans, Arsene knows.  He can spot a player that can score against giants like Basel from a mile away. Kieran Gibbs even played well, such was the level of opposition.  The last time Arsenal navigated a group stage unbeaten, they went on to lose in the final.  It won’t happen again, because they’ll probably draw Bayern in the next round.

Spurs made sure that stat didn’t last too deep into the week by putting on the kind of performance you can expect to see every other week when their Europa League gets underway at Wembley in the New Year.

Back to Arsenal, quicker than a Kane to Alli one-two.  Arsene has big problems this week.  Both Ozil and Sanchez seem to believe that there is a chance Wenger might pay them both around £300k each.  With interest in the pair from China, they have some bargaining power though if I was Arsene I would remind them that even Sven Goran Eriksen still gets a gig out there so the standard cannot be that high.  What would you rather lads, 4th place in the Premier League and falling out of Europe in February or earn even more money in the Far East?  The choice is very much yours.

Joey Barton is nailed on to return to Burnley.  Why?  He is back in their WhatsApp group.  Yes, that is what transfer rumours are based on in this modern world.  I doubt Brian Clough and Peter Taylor would have approved.

Leicester City are taking the Football Manager approach to sorting out their league form.  And by that I mean trying to sign a wonderkid who has moved to a big club and is barely getting a look in.  Gabigol is exactly what Ranieri needs, well that is if Ranieri is looking for someone who starts moaning five minutes after joining a club because he is not getting a game yet.

I won’t bore you with any Europa League stuff today, I know you don’t care.  I mean, you are not even that bothered that I haven’t mentioned that City drew with Celtic in a meaningless game at the Etihad, are you?  I even got through the Leicester paragraph without alluding to their 5-0 hammering at Porto.  So why would I bother telling how United did somewhere far, far away and how Southampton got on?  That is what the internet is for my friends, find out for yourself.  If you come here for the results then, well, you haven’t really got the tone of this column.

Bob Bradley says he is confident he will get time to turn Swansea around.  Bob, you will be bald by the time you have turned Swansea around.  Oh.  Well, if you are still in charge by the end of the season I will shave my head.  Actually, make that still in charge and not relegated. I like my hair.