It’s been no secret that Burnley are still perhaps lacking a certain bit of quality throughout their side and Sean Dyche has been reportedly been eyeing up some new faces in a bid to keep Burnley away from the dreaded drop zone.

The Lancashire outfit have amassed 23 points so far this campaign, with an incredible 22 coming at Turf Moor and with that in mind Burnley boss Dyche is looking to add a huge signing in the January transfer window….

The Fixture Computer.

The gravel throated manager was quoted as saying “If we can’t win away from home then frankly I don’t see why we should have to travel anymore. Quite simply we will play all our fixtures at home to guarantee survival!”

And what a signing The Fixture Computer would be. With it’s ability to send West Ham all the way to South Wales on Boxing Day it would certainly give a boost to The Clarets as they look to establish themselves in the top flight.

Pundits will ask whether or not The Fixture Computer and Joey Barton can play in the same side. With Barton’s penchant for Twitter then they should be able to strike up a fearsome midfield partnership, just so long as that partnership is at Turf Moor.

While other clubs are changing managerial personnel, the Burnley boss seems to have pulled the wool over the other half dozen clubs at the bottom of the table. While they have to now worry with relegation six pointers on the road, Burnley will be safe in the knowledge that another home win is just around the corner.

So with just personal terms needed to be agreed, Dyche has to make sure he also gets the log on details and charger thrown into the deal. Don’t forget Sean if it does manage to throw up an away game then just try turning it off and turning it back on again.