With it being an odd year (numerically not due to events that have taken place, we’ll leave that one to 2016) it’s soon time for the African Cup Of Nations or is that the African Nations Cup?. I’m sure it was definitely one of those at one time of my life.
And that means that football’s most comical continental tournament comes to town once again. I don’t know about you but I watch it just to tick off all the cliches that the commentators will use over the course of the tournament than opposed to the action on the pitch.
So without further ado, I’m now going to bring you a Spotters Guide to the 2017 edition!
Bone Dry Pitches – The kind of pitches that a miss hit volley can launch a football as Africa’s first ever entry in space.
Naive Defending – A cliche that gets spouted every time this tournament takes place. To be fair that’s not without reason as some of it is certainly eye opener.
Goalkeepers in Tracksuit Trousers – As a general rule this is the de rigeur outfit for all warriors between the sticks.
Crazy Fans – I mean really crazy fans, expect to see a life size parrot as standard during any of the group matches.
Herve Renard – I mean lots of Herve Renard, expect to see countless close ups of the Morocco manager as he makes even the most Alpha Male’s heart flutter.
Witchcraft – There will be at least one reference per game in regards to a nation’s official Witch Doctor.
Vuvuzelas or other assorted horns – BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Eurosport Coverage – Once again they won’t be kidding anyone with their ‘LIVE’ coverage. For ‘LIVE’ read a broom cupboard in a Paris Studio.
So I hope that has not only given you something to look forward to but also something look out for across the tournament, trust me it makes the viewing on pitch so much easier to digest when you can tick off any of the above.
Happy viewing! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (there goes that Vuvuzela again)
Oh, and Tales will of course be bringing you regular thoughts from the tournament via our “Chief African Cup of Nations Correspondent” Lee Spencer. Yeah, we gave him the title to feel loved.