World Cup 2018

Today marks a watershed moment as FIFA announced World Cup changes to open mouthed interwebbers. There was a collective thud around the globe as jaws literally hit the floor in synchronised astonishment.

Yes folks, FIFA’s squeaky clean president Gianni Infantino announced that for the 2026 world cup would be expanded from 32 to 48 purely in the interests of being “more inclusive”. FIFA’s estimate of an increase in profit of over £500million was totally irrelevant to this announcement.

Fans are now eagerly anticipating turgid games between teams even more mediocre than England as well as hearing a 2000% increase in the phrase “there are no easy games in international football”.

There was overwhelming support globally to FIFA’s new pretence of giving an actual sh@t. The ECA for one were resounding in their support of FIFA “We fail to see the merits to changing the current format of 32 that has proven to be the perfect formula from all perspectives.

The campaign group “New FIFA Now” were equally supportive, calling this “a great move for fans”. Sorry, that’s a total lie, but you believed me for a second right? They actually said the expansion was “a money grab and power grab”. They also pointed out that “it will make a mockery of the qualification process for most confederations”. In a final nod of approval they said, “it will dilute the competitiveness of the tournament and, therefore, the enjoyment of fans”.

For those of you wondering, FIFA’s motto is “For the Game. For the World”. In the words of the great Jim Royle, “My arse!” Personally, I think something more simplistic like “changing the goalposts since 1904” would be more suiting.

Should we expect anything different from FIFA? I mean, if you bought into the whole “change” when Sepp finally got his comeuppance you are probably the kind of football lover who still thinks teams like Leicester can win the Premier League. Ok, bad example but you get my point.

Still, what it really means is there will be even more minnows at the tournament that can knock out England. Brilliant.