Premier League Roundup

So all that talk of not being in the market for a centre back was mere distraction was it José? Clever. Devious in fact. José does not want a centre back, oh no, but he does want two new flying full backs. And he knows which ones he wants as well. Kyle Walker and Danny Rose, apparently. Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Mourinho likes his full backs to be able to defend, which I think might rule out both of them. Yes, I know they defend well for Spurs but José’s definition of defending is a little more intense. Just ask Eden. United were in action against Hull in the EFL Cup Semi Final last night. If you are expecting news, you will now be disappointed. If Zlatan gets the night off, so do I.

Pep Guardiola wants Jack Wilshere? Have I read that correctly? To do what, exactly? Jack has done a fine job down on the South Coast and Arsene is probably regretting not fully understanding that you can have clauses in loan contracts meaning you can have your player back. But still, wasn’t it Pep or one of his charges that suggested that Spain have hundreds of Jack Wilshere’s? Pep, go and get one of them. They will be cheaper and less injury prone.

Chelsea are still interested in finding a striker similar to Diego Costa, if there is such a thing. Tammy Abraham was that? No, don’t be silly. They want to take 32 year old Llorente of Swansea’s hands in return for some of City’s money and Michy Batshuyai. It almost makes sense that one.

As it is January we have to accept the fact that someone is going to suggest they want to buy Saido Berahino and they we have to go through the whole charade where Saido ends up sitting forlornly on the Albion bench for the rest of the season wondering where it all went wrong. Stoke and Mark Hughes want to make Saido theirs. Saido, remember when it was good teams coming in for you? There there.

A little tip for Arsene Wenger now. When German teams who are probably better than you start wanting to relieve you of some of your young reserves, it might be time to start playing them in the first team. You don’t want another Serge Gnabry situation now, do you? Dortmund are sniffing around Gedion Zelalem and they like how he smells.

There was a joyous reunion at Selhurst Park yesterday afternoon. No, not between Palace and three points but between Big Sam and Little Sam. It was pints of wine all round as Little Sam agreed to come and be Big Sam’s bitch once more.

The World Cup is now 48 teams. Scotland, your time is now. Well, in a decade or so when they expand it. But soon-ish.