Goalkeeper – Mannone, Sunderland
Some poor bloke has to do it. I mean think about it, you wake up Saturday morning and you’re the Sunderland keeper. The dark knowledge that your 90 mins is taken up of either picking a ball out of the net or hoping your kicks find Defoe.
Right Back – Zabaleta, Manchester City
Pablo is in for his runs from right back, or was it midfield? Now I look back he think he played ring wing back- going forward and holding the midfield. Hang on, let me ask Pep.
Left Back – Monreal, Arsenal
Nacho gets in for keeping Gibbs out of the team alone. I mean I could think of 10 players who are better than him, and one of them is GIBBS!
Centre Back – Wanyama, Tottenham Hotspur
Poor old Victor will have to take Aguero out of his pocket sooner or later.
Centre Back – Huth, Leicester City
The big man gets in the team just for the con job he pulled last year. Imagine convincing us that him and Morgan were so good. I mean, Derren Brown should hire this man.
Holding Midfielder – Yaya Toure, Manchester City
They say if you play this position and not get mentioned you’re doing a great job. He must be up for Ballon D’Or then.
Centre Midfield – Dele Alli, Tottenham Hotspur
Dele scores more headers than good old David Platt. That’s good enough for me.
Striker 1 – Costa, Chelsea
In following Mr Crooks’ ways, Diego scored therefore gets in this team, right?
Striker 2 – Sanchez, Arsenal
In following Mr Crooks’ ways, Alexis scored therefore gets in the team, right?
Striker 3 – Carroll, West Ham
In following Mr Crooks’ ways, Andy scored therefore gets in the team, right?
Striker 4 – Rooney, Manchester United
Rooney actually something over the weekend. 250 Bobby Charlton’s for Manchester United. Also he scored so therefore he gets in the team, right?