Today’s Tales: FA miss open goal with Jose

Todays Tales

We start this morning with the good news that Ryan Mason, albeit with a fractured skull, was chatting away in hospital yesterday. Mason has no recollection of the game at Stamford Bridge, which has led to Hull exploring whether it actually happened and questioning the FA as to the possibility of being given three points just for the sheer hell of it. Apparently Mason could not believe it when somebody told him he had signed for Hull from Spurs saying “I don’t care if it’s the city of culture, there is no way I’ve left London for that shit hole!”

Who says Scottish football is dull? One thing the FA Cup needs more of is drunken old rock stars doing the draw instead of Michael Owen and the fakest smile known to man. I vote we see what Phil Collins is up to next week and set him loose in the BT Tower, or wherever they decide to fix the, I mean stage the 5th Round draw.

Jurgen Klopp has declared himself frustrated at the lack of signings so far in January. I presume he means his own. It is obvious to any onlooker that Liverpool need reinforcements all over the pitch if they are to qualify for the Champions League, or the at the very least they could do with Senegal getting knocked out of the AFCON so that Mane can come home early. Would you believe that people are saying Leicester are lucky that Algeria are out? You’ve seen Mahrez “play” this season, haven’t you?

In a move that is weirdly considered “downgrading” the team you play for nowadays, Gerard Deulofeu has moved to AC Milan on loan from Everton. First Barcelona, then Everton, now Milan. The way his career is going he will end up playing in Scotland soon.

Arsene Wenger has been charged, yet again, by the FA for “bringing the game into disrepute” or, as we like to call it, “picking on the 4th official in a hilarious manner.” The thing is, the FA clearly have an issue with Jose, yet they have missed the kind of open goal that even Mata would have netted. They should have let Arsene off, then sat back and watched the fireworks in Mourinho’s next press conference. That would have livened up what threatens to be a very dull week of football news.

With all the goings on at the weekend, I cannot believe I missed an open goal of my very own. Sterling, racing into the box, gets shoved by Walker. With the pound being all over the place for goodness knows how long I cannot believe I didn’t find my fingers typing something along the lines of “that’s the first time Sterling hasn’t nosedived in a very long time.” I know, I know. I disappoint us all sometimes.