Todays Tales

Big Sam is working hard in this transfer window. He wants to build a team with an image. Unfortunately, the image appears to be that of the Championship winners of 2017/18. Robbie Brady? Jeffrey Schlupp? Patrick Van Aarnolt? It’s almost as if he wasn’t too impressed with Palace’s left hand side. This January window might go down in history for the one with the most desperate transfers by teams in relegation trouble, and Sam is duking it out with Moysey for the desperation crown.

Hull are taking an entirely different route to their relegation survival. They are going to try and do it whilst selling their best player. Robert Snodgrass looks like he is off to, er, Burnley and Hull look as if they are off to Ewood Park next season.

It’s all about relegation today. Victor Anichebe was said to be in tears after picking up yet another injury the other day. I don’t buy that for a second. Victor wasn’t crying over that. It was one of two other things for me. Either Anichebe was crying with joy at the opportunity to share a room with Joleon once again or he was crying with sadness at hearing that Jags really isn’t that interested in leaving Everton for the Stadium of Light. For me, it’s the second. Victor really wants to believe he is still playing for Everton, and what better way for him to believe it by surrounding him with the very same players and managers he left at Goodison Park. Has anyone got Tim Howard’s number? I am sure Tony Hibbert is kicking around somewhere.

Finally today, health campaigners have hit out at the news that Cadbury’s are going to be sponsoring the Premier League. That’s right, because kids will suddenly be interested in chocolate now, having never shown an interest in it before. Just like the first they heard of McDonald’s was when it sponsored the World Cup. Or was that Coca Cola? Either way, I don’t think kids are going to become any less unhealthy than they already are from eating processed food, watching TV and playing on their consoles just because the chocolate or sweets they already eat is now part of the ridiculous Premier League circus. My bigger concern is for someone like Wayne Rooney. I mean, he is going to get free chocolate out of this, right? And he is one man who really needs to step away from the Dairy Milk.