Liverpool

I’ve seen some odd story’s in the last few weeks, the one I am about to describe is probably the top of end of weird stories. Former Liverpool and various other teams forward Djibril Cisse has retired from football to focus on being, in his own words, “a DJ, Producer and Pundit.”

Now, I’m no career advisor but the phrase having to many fingers in a few pies comes into mind. How can he possibly manage all those jobs? Will his Saturday nights from now on consist of a mad six hour spell of producing and being a pundit on Match of the Day before heading off to play a set at Revs in Manchester City centre?

Lord Cisse, as I am told he likes to be known (Wikipedia him, it’s a fact he is actually a Lord of the Manor!) seems to have quite a high opinion of himself. He’s not lacking in confidence as his mad haircuts during his time at the Reds showed us.

I have a feeling that this latest career move will be much like his goal scoring record, underwhelming and not hitting the target very often! I have had the (dis)pleasure of seeing Lord Cisse play a few times. The first time was for QPR against my Swans side and then about two years later for a random Russian team in the Europa League. I hope he has a better cutting edge to his punditry/producing/mixing than his forward play during these games!

You never know he might be very successful DJ but footballers don’t have a great record when it comes to music. From dodgy Cup Final songs 2000’s to Andy Cole’s terrible song with an ironic title “Outstanding” footballers and music simply do not mix!

Furthermore, Lord Cisse of his own manor has asked me to send out a notice for his first DJ gig. It’s at the Bulls Head in Shrewsbury for a Princess Party on the 18th of February. Lord Cisse doesn’t want cash payments but instead would like to be paid in hair dye and for everyone to address him as “his Lordship” before, during and after the event.

He might be running a bit late, he is producing a YouTube video for a teenager in Chester and then doing some punditry on his work shortly afterwards!

Good luck in your new venture Lord Cisse, you’re going to need it.