Premier League

Oh, the things that give me pleasure about football – the Beautiful Game throws up such wonderfully unexpected and entertaining curved balls (who has?) – and it never fails to remind me why I love it.

Here’s some current thoughts of glee:

If Moyes was sacked for seventh, LVG for fifth, where does that leave the Miserable One, moaning and meandering in sixth? £89m and a monstrously-powerful–and-wealthy striker are still not bringing back the good times to Old Trafford. Bit Macbeth, isn’t it… ghostly Scottish Knights of the Realm called Matt and Alex haunting the Theatre of Dreams…spooky, eh – but hugely amusing?

I’m no Liverpool fan, but Kop King Klopp’s pure entertainment value, isn’t he? It’s best when the Reds lose (again) as his bewilderment doesn’t convincingly translate into Scouse to make sense – no, I don’t know understand either, Jurgy, La…

At yer Etihad it’s being proved, soccer style that all the money in the world and arguably the world’s best coach do not secure success….Yes, biblically-speaking, Jesus saved the blushes, but Pep, hombre – c’mon, man!

Light the Blue touch paper… I used to hate Chelsea, but only ‘cos of JM – well, and JT, but now love the monkey business on the touchline as Toni turns on the Italian style. When the Blues score TC scampers around like Mowgli in the Jungle Book, and now lately throws himself into the crowd, it’s great to watch! All together now ‘Hey – whatsamata you, gotta no respect?’ (that’s for the also rans). Come on Conte, Kante and Costa, lads – looozafew and maka game of eet, eh?

Second-rate Spurs are doing their best, but need a Mackay (showing my age there). Arsenal? Don’t make me laugh, I’ve got a split lip. The answer, obvious to me for years is the Gunners’ physio, obviously a Tottenham plant. He takes one key player – Ramsey, Welbeck, currently Cazorla and convinces everyone that the player should be out for months, usually a season to always disrupt any threat of continuity. Sanchez must despair of what he’s done going to the Emirates, imagine him at Anfield, or somewhere in Manchester – anywhere else, in fact.

If Chelski are running away with the Premier Leage, and good luck to them (quick snigger at snidey Jose), the real fun is suddenly who’s going down? Well, it could be virtually any three from West Ham in ninth downwards with 14 matches and 42 points available. Recent terrific stuff from Hull, Swansea and even Sunderland means nobody’s safe: which brings me nicely to what I call the DDD – the Dreaded Drop Department, he he…

OK, I admit it… I’m a Forest fan (we were big once). Of course it hurt last season when our nasty neighbours proved that anything is possible in football, but all is not well in the Foxes lair – and no-one has the answers. My blindingly obvious explanation is explained in one word – well, two – Kante and Chelsea. Do I care who wins tonight in the East Midlands FA Cup ‘Derby’? What do you think (answers on a €50 note).