GOALKEEPER
Lee Grant – Yes, there’s a keeper who conceded 4 goals in here. But, take away the goals and the lad played well. A few ‘worldie’ saves were made, that is Buffon or De Gea had made them the papers would be saying ‘Buffon made a world class save’. This is why I don’t write for a newspaper.
DEFENDERS
Michael Keane – After being confused last weekend that Lincoln knew how to play football, the Man United reject came back strong by scoring for Burnley. One more reason why I think he will be on the bench next season at a top four club. Just what his dreams are made of.
Cesar Azpilicueta – Cesar is in for two reasons. 1) He is the type of player which any club wants, he gets told where he is playing across the defence and does it with ease and aplomb, and 2) I can spell his name without copy and paste. So there.
Kyle Walker – Walker is so fast that sometimes I wonder if the fans at White Hart Lane should hold a Forrest Gump type banner saying STOP. He is missing his little friend on the left side Rose. But Kyle still bombs forward hoping one day Danny will be waving back.
MIDFIELDERS
Cesc Fabregas – BBC Sport put up a nice graphic of lots of little yellow dots to show what Cesc did. I felt bad that someone had put all that effort in, so Cesc is in. Also, scoring helps but I leave that sort of nonsense to Garth.
Tom Davies – Looking like a reject from 90’s band Dodgy, the ‘local lad’ has done really well. I’m just worried that soon he may let all the hype go to his head and the sponsored Alice bands start appearing.
Dele Alli – After trying to break a guy’s leg on Thursday, I was worried he looked a bit shy in the first 20 mins. He need not have worried, it was the perfect game to play. Stoke have Charlie Adams and no one at Spurs like him.
Pedro – Barcelona’s loss finally has become Chelsea’s gain. I say finally because last season I think I played more minutes for the Blues. The winger/forward (I really don’t know these days) has a real eye for goal and just the perfect haircut, never a hair out of place.
STRIKERS
Jamie Vardy – All 3 of my readers will be thinking ‘Ross, why is he in, his game isn’t until Monday. Are you telepathic?’ Well no, if I was I would be living in a bigger house. Mr Vardy’s written performance the other night deserves his place. Never has he tried to fool so many people. Jamie, we know what really happened.
Harry Kane – Why people on social media are still questioning his abilities is beyond me. Three hat tricks already in 2017, a new born baby and he wrapped his leg around a post but still played on. Hero.
Troy Deeney – With not that many games on this weekend it’s hard to fill and eleven. Also, I prefer 3-4-3 system. And anything else would confuse my 4 readers, I forgot my mum reads thus now and again. Troy scored again West Ham and that funny.