Today’s Tales

Todays Tales

“What’s this?!” you cry. Today’s Tales at lunchtime? I know, I know. Forgive me, for I spent the evening watching this team in blue that I am fairly sure I have seen somewhere before tear Liverpool a new one. I was so confused by matters that I was unable to pen anything vaguely witty so thought it was better to return to it today, having slept on it. And, fortunately, the penny dropped. It was all Claudio’s fault.

Let us not forget, he has been sacked from every other job he has ever had for being a bit of a tactical buffoon. Nice guy? Yeah probably. But when did the nice guy ever win in life? (Apart from last season, forget that it was clearly a one off.) What if, just what if, Claudio’s tactics were so bloody awful that the Leicester players just couldn’t win doing it that way? It seems odd that the two times I can remember where they have lined up like last season, approached the game like last season they have, in fact, won like last season.

Paul Merson will be getting very excited. Another performance like that and the Thai owners will surely give Craig Shakespeare the job until the end of season, thwarting any foreigner wanting the gig. And, what more English manager can you get than a guy named Shakespeare? That is presuming, of course, that Merse knows who Shakespeare was.

Leicester players are now getting the whole “disgraceful” chat from all quarters. I’m looking at it the other way. They didn’t like their manager who, quite possibly, had very little to do with them winning the title last season and could see that he was taking them down. They got rid, promising the owners they would be able to improve under anyone but him. And, at the first opportunity, they have shown this. Hell, Roberto Di Matteo turned Chelsea round by being anyone other than the previous guy. Who knows, a punt on Leicester getting through against Sevilla suddenly doesn’t feel so daft.

Klopp said, before the game, that it was directors and not players that were ruining football. Having seen what you served up after a week in La Manga Jurgen, I am not sure your bosses will completely agree. I felt for Lucas Leiva, being asked to watch Jamie Vardy run past him time and time again. Before the match it was also thought Leicester wanted Guus Hiddink, well versed at coming in and sorting out a bunch of rebel players. Hiddink was thought to be doubtful, Leicester were thought to be keen. I’d wager their roles have been reversed after last night’s result.

With all this going on, David Moyes still managed to win the award for stating the bloody obvious yesterday. Moyesy has said that Sunderland “need to win at least five games to stay up.” Even Shakespeare and Sherlock combined could have worked that out.

Finally, Jose Mourinho’s minder might look familiar to some of you – and if he does I now know your dirty little secret. Yeah, you! And you! You watch Jeremy Kyle and I know you do. Yes, Jose’s minder is also Jezza’s minder. I cannot imagine the gig is that different to be honest.