Today’s Tales

Todays Tales

How on earth did I miss this yesterday? I must have been distracted trying to come up with Shakespeare type puns. No matter, it is still as funny today as it was yesterday. I know, I am building this up somewhat. But, stay with me. Crystal Palace fans, thinking they were giving it the big one to the Middlesbrough bus that Karanka often parks whenever his side plays, felt a little foolish when they realised the coach they had just sprayed graffiti all over and generally vandalised was in fact, yes you are one step ahead of me, their own. Brilliant. And they say Croydon is the intelligent part of South London. I know Palace fans have had a lot of reason to abuse their coach in the last few years after Pardew being rubbish and Big Sam taking his time to get going, but seriously. This is great on so many levels. I would love to see the current Palace odds on the Sky Bet app. Palace 3/1 to go down, evens to concede from a corner and 50/1 to have their stadium pulled apart by their own fans, thinking they were destroying Goodison Park or something.

Speaking of stadiums, West Ham are in actual danger or winning something this season. No, not on the pitch. Don’t be silly. The London Stadium is in line for winning “Football Stadium of the Year.” Far be it from me to pour scorn on this award which I am sure is highly credible, but the fact that the London Stadium IS NOT A FOOTBALL STADIUM must surely raise some concerns? Having said that, it is up against the Emirates which doubles as a library and The House of Commons which has a better view of idiots running around doing nothing right so maybe the award is entirely credible after all.

Michael Owen has cracked open a can of funny and sprayed it all over Arsenal. The Gunners are “the most consistent side in the Premier League” according to Owen who had the most consistent hamstrings in the game at one point, consistently knackered. Yes, Michael was making fun of the fact Arsenal have been consistently coming in at number four for goodness knows how long. I might be wrong, but wouldn’t Owen have given quite a lot to finish 4th in the Premier League with such regularity? In fact, didn’t he jump ship to Madrid to get some Champions League action, only for Liverpool to win it without him the next season?

Manchester United have said they will pay the €130 visa fee for any United fan crazy enough to make the away trip to Russia when United play Rostov. Surely nobody loves United that much?

Today’s Tales just gets funnier. Roy Hodgson has held talks to become the next Leicester manager. Just when Jamie Vardy thought he had got rid of one tactically inept manager…