Artur Boruc – Totally useless last week, this week made Zlatan look human. He almost didn’t make this weekend’s team as he let Rojo score. That’s something that is almost worthy of putting 3 points on his license. Next week I fully expect him to be back to his throwing the ball into the back of the net best.
Ragner Klavan – Well paint me pink and call me Sandy. He can play football. Like Boruc he will no doubt be back to his panicky best but for now he can be king of the Kop. Even an angry Sanchez could not ruin his day.
Dani Ayala – For having the sense to feign injury after just 8 mins. The lad knows how boring it is these days at Boro and showed his lack of commitment by slipping off to allow Stoke to win easily and not turn the game into the usual sleep fest we normally have.
Jan Vertonghen – The slip aside, he went running forward like a hobbit going on an adventure. If you look closely at the Everton defender’s eyes, you can see the utter confusion on their faces as they see this Belgian running at them.
Christian Fuchs – For not giving a ‘Fuchs’ before poor Claudio left. Now everyone for Leicester is giving a ‘Fuchs’. Even Christian.
Riyad Mahrez – Another player giving a ‘Fuchs’. Last season he was twisty and turny (it’s now a word). This season he has been so pedestrian, if he was in New York he would have been arrested for ‘J’ walking. But hey, now look! The players got their way and now run around a lot more.
Nathan Redmond – Stupid haircut aside, I’m sure Mr Southgate will be taking notice and will give him a call up only to use for 10 mins in the next friendly. And people wonder why England players don’t try hard enough when called up.
Andros Townsend – Do you remember a few years back, he was going to be the next best thing for England. Well he isn’t, and you could have asked any Spurs supporter and they would have told you why. Nice goal though.
Sergio Aguero – How can Pep not rate this lad? Maybe Sergio should put a picture of his managers face on a vest and show his love then next time he scores. Rumour is he could well end up at Real Madrid this summer. Ironic if he scored a last-minute winner in the Champions League final next season against City wouldn’t it Pep?
Alexis Sanchez – A weaker man would have lamped Wenger clean out. I mean 17 goals and 9 assists just screams ‘bench him!’. And with Giroud making Klavan look like Cannavaro, one must wonder if Arsene is just having a laugh before he goes elsewhere.
Harry Kane – Yes, he is in for a second week running, and yes, I’m a Spurs fan. He missed nearly 2 months of the season and now can’t stop scoring. More babies I say. Also, it’s worth noting that Roy Hodgson had him on corners during EURO 2016. Tactical genius that man.