Opinion

So, another international break, another friendly against the old enemy Germany. Sure, Gareth Southgate’s England did not win but there were certainly signs of genuine improvement within the team. The England national team are generally over hyped by certain publications (who shall remain nameless) so I’ve decided to make matters worse and over hype the current England squad. Yes, on paper Jake Livermore and Jordan Henderson fighting for a starting place instead of Scholes and Gerrard might suggest England has gone downhill but honestly we were rubbish back then despite having a much better team. So anyway, here’s some reasons to be optimistic about the current crop.

1. England now play 3-4-3 and all the best teams play 3-4-3

Southgate, being the independent free thinker that he is, decided that because Chelsea and Spurs play 3-4-3 England should too. The logic is simple enough, Spurs and Chelsea are the best teams in the Prem, so let’s just copy them. Kyle Walker and Danny Rose are genuinely suited to the system as, well, they do play for Spurs. While England can barely find one decent centre back, the solution to the problem is clearly to put three centre backs in the team.

2. England has a young squad

I know, I’m stunned this hasn’t been mentioned anywhere else before, but our squad is really young. That’s not an excuse for why we’ve been terrible in recent history it’s just a fact. Kane, Alli, Stones and Dier are barely out of puberty and Marcus Rashford was almost literally born yesterday. The fact the squad is so young means that they can only get better with age just as other promising youngsters like Wayne Rooney and Francis Jeffers. Plus, there’s still a few of the old regulars left playing for the team like Rooney, Hart, Jagielka, Heskey and Ugo Ehiogu. Their experience is also essential.

3. It can’t get any worse

Losing to Iceland was embarrassing, humiliating and a genuine low point in English football. Losing to a country with a population just 106 times bigger than that of Hemsby is quite frankly unforgivable, it’s insulting and it’s the equivalent of urinating on Bobby Moore’s grave while singing the German national anthem. Sacrilege. So, it cannot get any worse. Well unless we lose to Lithuania at the weekend and go on to not qualify for the World Cup. That’d be pretty bad.