IT COULD BE WORSE…
… you could be Scottish. See you, Jimmy, Gritty Gordon’s geezers ground out a one niler against Slovenia/akia (delete where applicable) to keep Nicola Sturgeon’s mind temporarily off referendums. Dunno about you mate, I’m as patriotic as the next geezer, but these days being a loyal Anglo-Saxon is getting harder as I get older. As ever, you want our Red-blooded lads to win, but hey, our expectations have been forced lower these days. What with the last World Cup in Brazil and those frightening French Euros (shudder), surely it can’t be as humiliating as that again – can it?
To Russia with love poses a big question: are England getting any better in this build up to the 2018 World Cup? Playing well in a ‘friendly’ (with Germany?) and undeservedly losing to one of the world’s great footballing nations, then winning the important qualifier against a banana republic (btw, where is Lithuania, apparently 107th in the world football ranking) bodes well, but we’ve been here and there before – haven’t we? Discuss…
Well yes, we know: Joe Hart isn’t the fizziest drink in the fridge, but he’s the best we’ve got (shurrup, Pep, what do you know). Bestest big bruiser Walker is doing well, as are Cahill, Stones and the Burnley newbie Michael Keane (good football surname that), Bertrand’s holding the fort for Danny Rose well, so defensively we’re OK, agreed?
Excuse my French, but WTF is it with Oxlade-Chamberlain? Dodgy haircut apart, to me he looks the part these days, maybe dare I say the missing link to back up the non-stop running and creativity of Lallana* and Alli, with Dier to add the muscle (and Barkley bench bound). Does the poor baffled sap ever get a regular run for Arsenal? Well, about as much as any other hit/miss/injured/ignored midfielder at the Emirates these days (see Ramsey, Wilshere, Cazorla, sure I’ve missed a few more…). Nice one gaffer Gareth, good choice…
Oop front: if ‘young’ Jermain has lost none of his sharpness, serial-misser Raheem has lost non of his bluntness in front of goal. Sterling remains a mystery to me, both for country and club: I’ve never seen a player have so much of the ball but do so little with it… Yeah, I know, he enabled Defoe to – etc, yawn. With Vardy, Rashford, Crocked Kane to come back there shouldn’t be any striker problems, really, should there?
Hang on a mo – this is England I’m talking about. I’m sure in a previous life as a football hack I’ve written all this stuff before, just some of the names and a few other places have changed. Oh well, it’s back to the Prem next week. Who’s United got, any chance of a José hoodoo – and who’s going down with that well-known group Boro and The Black Cats? Can Forest stay up? Now all that’s important, John, so put old England away for another day…
*Cheek of the Week: I used to work for a toiletries manufacturer, and as such felt for Nivea. In the TV adverts around the game Adam Lallana is extolling the virtues of a cleanly-shaved chin, obviously using the company’s product. In direct contrast the idiotic, disloyal prat is running round Wembley with a full, albeit bumfluffy beard. That’s extracting the urine, no? Footballers – I despair…