Todays Tales

That was close. Mrs Tales and I were off for a mountain picnic and then the phone started going a little bit loopy.


West Ham and Newcastle run by alleged dodgy folk SCANDAL! Well, if your club is owned by a couple of geezers who used to own the Sunday Sport or by a fat man who allegedly treats workers at Sports Direct like it is a North Korean boot camp then this can’t be the greatest shock in the world. The amusing bit for me is that it is do with “dodgy transfers”. What, like paying £12m for Florian Thauvin or £15m for Enner Valencia you mean? Actually, that isn’t the reason that Lee Charnley has been arrested, but it would make sense. Still, it has brightened up the morning of a few Sunderland fans.

Which was very much needed because, POW! Another slap in the face for David Moyes. He has been charged with “inappropriate comments” which have nothing to do with him suggesting Sunderland might stay up. No, you might recall David telling a female reporter she was a bit naughty and might get a slap, the kind of fight he probably deep down wishes some of his players might show on the pitch.


Joey Barton has been banned from all football activity for 18-months, following placing ill-advised bets from time to time. Feel free to insert your own betting gag right now – I am going with “I bet that’s his career over then”. Could this loss drag Burnley into the relegation battle? Hell no, there is no chance Barton is that important to any football club. All I hope now is that “all football activity” also prevents the inevitable appearance as a pundit on BT Sport.

Away from all scandal, Chelsea efficiently went about playing their poker hand last night. Diego Costa scored his 50th Premier League goal in the kind of victory over Southampton that must tell Spurs the chase is over. Pochettino’s rallying cry for the Palace match was to tell his players to focus on buckling under pressure, sorry their remaining matches, rather than transfer speculation. And Dele Alli, he was very much looking at you when he said it.

Finally, Jamie Vardy has had steel fencing installed all around his mansion in Leicestershire. Whether it is to keep the vermin inside or outside is yet to be confirmed.