Do you want to know what happened to me recently that I thought never would? I agreed with Trevor Sinclair!
Yes, readers of Pan The Pundits will be very aware of my distaste for Trev’s punditry (he just explains that a man kicked the ball into the goal and it was good) and Trev’s lack of personality or originality. If you put a pound coin in Trevor, he’d tell you the general popular opinion. Like the talking clock but worse.
Anyway, before I get sidetracked here, Trevor tweeted in the run-up to the Manchester derby a snippet from a newspaper column where they explain that the new coefficient system for clubs has meant that City, with no Champions Leagues, fell below United, with four to their name, despite the Reds not even making it out of the group stages last season or getting in this season.
As Trevor put it in his tweet, “UEFA’s attempt to help the rich get richer and quash any newcomers”. He, however, ended his correct and fair point by saying it “STINKS” like five-year-old me when asked what I thought of girls.
True enough though, UEFA are implementing a new coefficient system to absolutely no fanfare because everyone is still confused as to how these points are worked out. 0.569 points for a draw? Is that even part of it? I don’t know and this is just hurting me the more I think about it. I’m sure a very dull man in a M&S suit could tell me but I like my time and I don’t want it wasted.
What I do understand is that one of the key changes for club coefficients is that history gets taken into account. And that’s just the single stupidest idea I’ve ever heard of. Even as a Liverpool fan, a club that lives, dies and gets beaten to death with its history, I think this dumb and we stand to benefit hugely! I appreciate rewarding past performance but isn’t that what trophies and stars on the badge and bucket loads of prize money are for? Sure, add a couple of points if you’re feeling fruity but the fact that United were able to move above City despite not even touching their performances abroad in the last five years is comical.
UEFA made these changes under advisement from some nameless committees, similar I imagine to the Stonemasons in the Simpsons with strange paddle initiation included. There was one name that cropped up though – David Gill. Sound familiar? It should if you’re a Manchester United fan since he used to be the chief executive of the club. He’s one of the many suits that makes millions off football yet does very little to help it.
Turns out it was Mr. Gill’s idea to include history since he is conveniently a member of UEFA’s “Executive Council” – who are a step above the “Junior Council” and way above UEFA’s “Peasant Council” – and, coincidentally, the ex-United executive has ended up helping United. Meanwhile, poor little City and other nouveau riche sides such as PSG are stuck down in the doldrums of pots two and three because they haven’t won the Champions League.
It’s like United are that guy in the pub who has to remind you how hard he is or how great he is. Or that work colleague who tells you about all the jobs he has done previously and how great he was at those. “Hey! Look at me, I’m relevant, please love me.”
It’s almost like United are living off their history. Now who have I heard say that that line before?