Bottling it
I’ve obviously been keeping a close eye on the situation within the top four of the Premier League at the minute, with my team being right in the mix and all. How annoying is it to watch?! It seems like nobody wants to finish fourth. City are consistently drawing games the (5-0 smashing of Crystal Palace aside), Liverpool are limping over the line, Arsenal have the character of a wet paper towel, and United seem to have a fear of winning. It has to be said that the “battle” between Liverpool and United in particular is quite comical. Both teams seem to be handing each other chances to capitalise on the others misfortune and then handing it back. It’s like watching an episode of Chucklevision! It can only be described as the most polite, well-mannered scrap in footballing history. I still can’t actually believe that I’m getting this wound up about Liverpool finishing fourth.
Gathering cups in May
It’s that time of year again. You know, the time of year where the commentary at all the games takes on a really serious tone. Where Sky’s League One play off coverage is like a World Cup final. But personally I love it. I love getting wrapped up in it all. Bank Holiday weekend at the end of May is an annual highlight for me. Woah, hold your horses fella?! What do you mean the League One play off final is the week before the other finals?! Why would the EFL ruin my Bank Holiday weekend like this? I’m going to have to cut the grass or something like that on my spare day now. Jesus tonight, this is a nightmare! Still, there’s the most obvious cup final victories to look forward to in the F.A Cup, Europa League and Champions League. I love seeing Manchester United and Chelsea winning stuff…Think I’ll book a holiday or something.
Transfer titillation
The transfer window will be open pretty soon and, again, this is one of my favourite things in football. A lot of people hate the transfer window for a lot of valid reasons. But I love the annual disappointment of Everton fans who think that Bills boys are getting loads of dough to play with, only to be left absolutely gutted when they inevitably end up with players like Tom Cleverley and Ramiro Funes Mori. Everton aren’t the only ones prone to misplaced optimism. I say I love the transfer window, but I always start June thinking Liverpool will sign someone like Alvaro Morata only to end up with someone like Iago Aspas. Then we have to watch these flops take short corners in games we are losing in the 90th minute and play the ball to an opposition player. It’s proper boss.