Michy Batshuayi is no fool, far from it in fact. He knows that he needs to be playing more than 10 minutes a month for Chelsea next season if he is going to oust Romelu Lukaku from Belgium’s World Cup 2018 starting XI in Russia. Michy wants game time, and he wants it now. Well, maybe not now exactly as it is the close season, but he wants game time as soon as the next opportunity comes along. And he isn’t that bothered where it is really, as long as it is game time. Michy wants to play football, he is making this point very clear to the Chelsea powers that be. Yet, in a u-turn that Theresa May would be proud of, Michy has also said that he is happy for Chelsea to decide his fate. For me Michy, you have two options. If Lukaku ends up at Chelsea, get used to seeing one of your best mates in a team ahead of you as that is what Russia will look like. Secondly, just hope Romelu ends up somewhere like PSG where he probably won’t play that often either, then you can both get used to seeing Christian Benteke leading the Belgian line.

Chelsea want Lukaku, and Lukaku wants Chelsea – this much is very clear. Well, actually the only bit that is clear is that “staying at Everton is not an option” because big Rom wants to win things. That’s a fair point, sir. Everton is not the place to be if you garner that ambition. However, there is actually a fair bit of doubt around where the big striker will end up playing next season. PSG have been mentioned, as have Dortmund who have a new Bosz. Chelsea refuse to go away from the rumour table and Manchester United are still being linked. Just imagine if it was Arsenal. They do love a big striker with minimal ball control who can go missing on the big occasions. It sounds like a match made in heaven.

Arsenal are making like a club keen to get their transfer business done early, which from the outside sees speculation about Mbappe, Lacazette and anyone else good playing in France grow daily. In reality, getting their transfer business done early probably means signing the Schalke left back on a free and authorising Bellerin and Giroud to leave the club. But who knows, eh? Maybe Arsene Wenger is playing a very long game after all.

If you are Manchester City and you cannot be bothered to pay crazy money for Benjamin Mendy of Monaco, who do you turn to instead? Ryan Bertrand of Southampton of course, which will annoy Liverpool no end, seeing their reserve team get pilfered. Pep Guardiola likes the look of the Champions League winning left back. I know, he won the Champions League! You’d forgotten that, hadn’t you? One heading out the other door at the Etihad is Nolito, expected to return to Sevilla where the weather is better, his daughter will regain her natural colour and he might even play. He bears no grudge to Pep, which might have something to do with the insane amount of money he will have earned for learning about all the different kinds of rain you get in Manchester.

If you know where James Rodriguez is actually going to end up this summer then you know more than us. Liverpool have been added to the ever growing list, just as long as they haven’t tapped him up right? Kloppo might be in hot water, as Southampton have complained about his approach for the Dutch centre back, Virgil van Dijk. That does seem a little strange as I would imagine the Liverpool transfer committee have Les Reed, Southampton’s DoF, on speed dial.

Finally, I read somewhere that people “in the know” believe that Eddie Howe would benefit from the experience of a Director of Football. The fact this story broke on the day it is expected that John Terry will sign a £100k a week deal is, probably, merely coincidental.