England are World Champions! Yes, let’s all get really excited as England won the U20 World Cup. I would recommend writing down all the names of the players because, sadly, I can almost guarantee that unless you are planning on being familiar with the Wigan, Fleetwood or Portsmouth squads in six years time you won’t remember their names. You may not have been aware, is it was hardly mentioned, but this was the first time England had been in any kind of footballing final since 1966. Freddie Woodman was the hero saving a Venezuela penalty in the second half after Dominic Calvert-Lewin had scored England’s goal. Everton fans the country over are already making a date in their calendar for 50 years time to remind everyone that Everton won the U20 World Cup for England half a century ago. Well, if it stops West Ham fans telling us about 1966 I am all for it.

You might feel I am being slightly down and cynical over what is a fantastic achievement. I probably am. But let’s cool the jets on another Golden Generation label being stuck on this side, shall we? Until each and every member of the U20 squad is playing regular top-flight football, hey maybe not even in England so they can expand their footballing knowledge, then there is nothing to get too excited about. Credit to Everton, they have backed some of these players to be first team regulars and they are delivering. Dominic Solanke is off to Liverpool, but with the pressure of Champions League football will he actually get the game time he needs? Those that feel I am being a little harsh will probably point to the “habit of winning tournaments” that has served the German and Spanish sides so well. Yes, but don’t forget that those players didn’t see their first team paths blocked long term. Want England to compete in the real European Championships and World Cup? Instead of continually paying £20m for someone you believe to be a finished product, give one of the kids a go. Not that the Premier League care one tiny bit about international football, and why would they?

Anyway, it was nice to see Scotland wear a decent looking kit for their match against England, far better than that pink number they rocked up to Wembley wearing. This was a truly terrible game that will be remembered for the last few minutes. I don’t know what is more laughable, that England conceded two free kicks in the last five minutes to be 2-1 down in injury time or that Scotland threw away a huge opportunity to actually win a meaningful game of football. It was nice to see Harry Kane skipper the English team, a top example of how to bring through a top level English footballer. Does the result mean that the Gareth Southgate honeymoon is over? Not for me, dropping Wayne Rooney gives him at least a year to get it right for me.

Let’s redivert our eyes to what we really enjoy though, making fun of the Premier League itself.

I am sure Arsene Wenger can still pick a player, even when he plays for Arsenal. So there is no way whatsoever that Bayern Munich have got it right in picking up Serge Gnabry for nothing, a player that Arsene deemed not to be any better than Theo Walcott or Aaron Ramsey or, I would suspect, even Jack Wilshere. Therefore Gnabry, who has already gone on to make his Germany debut since fleeing the Wenger nest, will not make any kind of impact whatsoever in a Bayern shirt and will definitely not score in the annual Arsenal v Bayern match in February. Oh no, silly me. That’s been cancelled this year, hasn’t it, in favour of Arsenal welcoming the team that finished second in Belarus or something.

Joe Hart is completely clueless, and not just when it comes to saving free kicks. With Ederson very much in at Manchester City, Hart is very much on the way out except he doesn’t know where or when. As Joe says, nobody is shooting any offers his way – though, if they were, the chances are they’d fly right past him and he’d be looking over his shoulder wondering what it was.

Nowadays a goal against Scotland gets you a £40m move to a club playing Champions League football. Lucky Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain could well be on his way to Liverpool for the sum mentioned until of course, the transfer committee realise that they don’t want to spend £40m on a player that might improve the side and try and find someone else far cheaper. I do wonder what the difference is between Liverpool and Arsenal is sometimes, and I presume the answer to be a tactically innovative coach in touch with the modern game and a top four finish.

Rather than pay the big bucks for the Ox, Liverpool are more likely to look into their reserve team and promote Dusan Tadic to the first team squad. Naturally, they would prefer that nobody catches wind of this. Not until they’ve checked with Dusan before giving Southampton‘s DoF Les Reed a call.

Victor Lindelof to Manchester United looks to be a done deal for £30m meaning that Sky Sports have failed in their heartfelt campaign to bring Michael Keane back to Old Trafford to be emotionally reunited with his family.

Finally, Everton are going to spend some of that transfer kitty they thought they had when that ex-Arsenal shareholder got involved. They are after Ajax’s skipper Davy Klaassen to add midfield creativity and Malaga’s Sandro Ramirez to add extra goals. Sorry, they are after Klaassen to replace the midfield creativity they will lose when Ross Barkley leaves and Ramirez to fill the goal-void left by Romelu Lukaku’s imminent departure. Way to make progress Everton, way to make progress.