Brumour: A breaking rumour

Hang on a minute, I turn my back for one day and it all goes batshit crazy in the world of brumours.

PAM! Everton spend £30m on a goalkeeper that got relegated.

BOOM! They follow that up by signing a top talent from Ajax.

BOSH! Redknapp wants Terry!

PING! Donnarumma wants to do one from Milan, meaning there will be a top goalkeeper merry-go-round at some point.

HAHA! Derek McInnes sees staying in Scotland as a better option than managing Sunderland!

KERPOW! Harry Maguire joins Leicester for £17m! Yes, really!

Madness all around. Jordan Pickford signed on the dotted line for 5 years at Everton, which really means three years before he decides he wants to play Champions League football. £30m was the fee which is a record for a non-capped footballer. More importantly, in successive seasons relegated sides have got shot of one of their players for £30m! The main difference being, of course, Moussa Sissoko was rubbish and Pickford is actually quite good, though whether he is £30m of good remains to be seen. Ronald Koeman was grinning like the cat that got the cream as Ajax playmaker Davy Klaassen also joined for £17m. £57m in one day at Goodison Park, though don’t forget they’ll probably make more than that when they sell Romelu Lukaku so all the talk of Everton now being able to “compete” maybe a little premature.

So, if Pickford is worth £30m, how much is AC Milan’s wantaway goalie Gianluigi Donnarumma going to fetch? Mini Raiola must already be counting how many more yachts he can buy on the commission from this one as with 18 months remaining on his deal, the refusal to sign a new one suggests that that sound you can hear is AC Milan frantically rushing around working out how they can cash on their asset before Real Madrid pick him up on the cheap next summer. I wonder what David De Gea is thinking right now? I feel a bit for Milan as they have done some fine business in the transfer window already, but losing their homegrown superstar will not please the fans. I mean, no money in the world would have made Paolo Maldini move on, surely?

Harry Maguire, also uncapped by England, has moved from relegated Hull City to former Champions Leicester City, Craig Shakespeare taking the Englishness of his name almost as seriously as his friendship with Ray Wilkins. Maguire had a decent season last season, and I guess £17m just about gets you an English, uncapped, relegated central defender who can play a bit nowadays.

How f***ed must Sunderland be if an up-and-coming manager chooses to stay in the Scottish top flight than come and try his luck at a club down south? I cannot believe for a second that Derek McInnes has been reminded how badly it went for Ally McCoist when he moved from Scotland to Wearside, so there must be something rotten at the Stadium of Light for Derek to think there is a better future at Aberdeen. I mean no disrespect to the Dons, I mean they beat Real Madrid in a European Final once and all that, but you’d imagine a move to a club the size of Sunderland would have been the kind of gig most Scottish managers would be eyeing up currently with the Old Firm not wanting a homegrown boss. Either way, McInnes said no so what next for Sunderland?

Finally, Harry Redknapp confirmed that John Terry has been made a “good offer” to come and do his Rio Ferdinand skit next season. By that I mean get paid a load of money, be crap and retire on a low. I’m not much of a John Terry as a person person, but he has been the best English centre-half of my lifetime and I really do hope he just retires now and leaves us with the good footballing times. Plus, how on earth would he top his Chelsea leaving ceremony?

Cristiano Ronaldo refuses to stay in a country that asks questions about his tax affairs, so is thought to be legging it from Real Madrid to the first open door that has a wedge of cash inside. Step forward Manchester United, obviously, and Paris Saint-Germain, obviously. Neither will happen. More likely to be scribbled into the morning register at Carrington is Ivan Perisic who, apparently, is very close to joining Jose Mourinho’s band of brothers. Perisic will cost £52m if you believe everything you read.

Arsenal are willing to send Olivier Giroud to Lyon, Monaco, West Ham United, the moon if it makes it easier to bring one of their targets in. Imagine how Giroud must be feeling right now. All he has ever done for Arsene Wenger is score goals, and now he is threatening to send him to West Ham? The cheek of it.

Marco Silva was very impressed by Lazar Markovic in Hull City’s failed attempt to avoid relegation, so impressed that he wants him to join him at Watford. Markovic is not thought to run around enough for Jurgen Klopp‘s liking, so the deal could well happen.

Finally, Antonio Conte IS NOT unhappy at Chelsea, alright? The Champions have been slow to get moving on the transfer front, but this is not making Conte WANT TO WALK OUT in any way, shape or form. He is categorically NOT going anywhere else. Got that?