So, it turns out that Cristiano Ronaldo and Jose Mourinho might be kindred spirits after all, eh? The Manchester United manager is allegedly accused of hiding a fair amount of cash from the Spanish tax authorities in his time at Real Madrid. Seriously, I am starting to blame the accountants, this is (maybe) happening far too often. Anyway, Florentino Perez has said he will talk to Ronaldo after the Confederations Cup and find out exactly what is going on. I’ll tell you now Senor Perez. Cristiano would like a new contract please, probably with a signing on fee that might match what he might be in for with the taxman. Maybe. Possibly. Allegedly.

Dani Alves has made it clear to Juventus that he enjoyed his time in Italy, but wants to play for a club that won’t bottle it in Europe. Quite why is off to Manchester City is anybody’s guess in that case, though there are rumours of another side keen to get him to the Premier League. Manchester City are also keen to add Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to their slightly over-filled stable of top class strikers. Liverpool are thought to want the Borussia Dortmund striker as well before they realise they don’t want to spend that much.

Yes, Antonio Conte may well have been playing me like a banjo. Or, he is doing the popular routine of making it look like you want to leave to get a better deal. I tried that once, Burger King kinda knew they could replace me quite easily, and I wasn’t even asking for a £300m war chest. Anyway, the Chelsea boss wants Dani Alves to improve his right-hand side as well as Alex Sandro to improve his left-hand side. None of this seems to be caring whatsoever about Marcos Alonso or Victor Moses seem to think. Where’s the loyalty, eh?

One almost certainly leaving the Bridge, for another tearful non-tax related reunion is Nemanja Matic. He could well be leaving Chelsea and heading up to Manchester United as they are in dire need of another slow lump of a midfielder.

Newcastle United could be having a good week. I mean there is all that talk of Mike Ashley selling up and now they might be about to do some very good transfer business indeed. Porto striker Victor Aboubakar is being linked to St James’ Park for less than £10m and the superb Eibar central defender Florian Lejeune is arriving for even fewer pennies. Rafa Benitez must be a very happy waiter right now.