Confed Cup Salvation!

Lad….LAD! Surely I was not the only one starting to suffer from withdrawal symptoms from a lack of football?! I was getting to the point of watching the kids in the street and sitting on my step with bevies, singing footy songs at little lads in between moaning at them for hitting my car. Luckily for me (and the kids in my street) it didn’t get to that point. Thanks to the Confederations Cup I won’t be swearing at 8 year olds and getting my head stamped on by the disgruntled parents of Netherley, Liverpool. The first game kicked off at 4 p.m on Saturday and was a star studded clash between, ahem, Russia and New Zealand. Still, it was an enticing game – it always is with, erm, Russia about. Not to worry, FIFA are using video assisted refereeing now which is sure to be a success. I’m sure the 3 or 4 minutes wasted will aid the flow of the game. Ah, that hasn’t gone exactly to plan either? Well, not to worry. The atmosphere at the warm up for the first major tournament for the Russians in 12 months time will ensure games are played to the backdrop of much fanfare. What’s that? under 40,000 were in attendance in Zenit’s new 67,000 capacity arena for the Russia game. Ah, right. Well at least there’s footy on again.

Tax man, Tax man, please go away

You’d think that Cristiano Ronaldo would be onto the Spanish tax man by now. They have already tried to knobble Leo Messi for tax fraud and he managed to come away with a suspended sentence. You’d think Ronaldo would have shifted all his money into a different bank account or at least paid his tax bill on the back of that. Listen Ronny lad where I live, this is a common occurrence. We aren’t soft mate. What you need to do is one of three things: Firstly, you could get yourself a blendy accountant who’s willing to play the game and get you a nice little bank account in the Cayman Islands, registering  it in your dog’s name. That’s what Harry Redknapp did and it came up Rosie for him. Or you could throw in a transfer request and scare Real Madrid into paying it off for you. That will more than likely work. Finally you could follow through with that transfer request and bail to China or America. Just please, for the love of god, don’t sign for Man United again. I’ve only just started respecting you.

Transfer story of the week

Transfer story of the week once again concerns my favourite little club, Everton. The Ev have this week signed not one, but two players for OVER £5 million. They broke their transfer record early last week when they signed Jordan Pickford from Sunderland for a fee rising to £30 million. Then they signed Davy Klaasen from Ajax on Friday for £25 million. Look at you, throwing money about like a big club. But calm down blues, I am actually impressed with Everton here. It’s unlike you to be spending this kind of money. Now Uncle Bill has finally relinquished the majority of control to Farhad Moshiri, you have finally joined the party of trying to be serious contenders for the top 4. Among your top signings since Uncle Farhad took the reins though at the world famous Liver Buildings. Maybe Kenwright might be in his ear to save some money and play the Liver Birds up front when Romelu Lukaku bounces.