Brumour: A breaking rumour.

Sorry folks, today might be just a little Manchester United focus as almost everything I have for you can be linked to the moneybags club who seem determined to spend for the sheer hell of it.

Jose Mourinho is thought to be no longer interested in Chelsea’s Nemanja Matic, like he ever was, and is very, very interested in Tottenham Hotspurs’ Eric Dier. Careful Jose, Eric is English. You don’t normally sign them. But do they really want him? Or is it all another smokescreen to distract Chelsea and Antonio Conte away from the fact they are really after AS Monaco’s Fabinho? I hope I haven’t just let the cat out of the back there Jose.

Ed Woodward isn’t going on the US Tour because he is trying to get Inter’s Ivan Perisic over the line. I presume this involves some treats, some “here kitty, kitty” and a lot of heavy petting when Perisic responds. £45m is thought to the price. It’s also being thrown out there that Zlatan Ibrahimovic will make a shock return to Old Trafford sometime in October, which is about long enough for Jose Mourinho to realise that the Romelu Lukaku he has signed is still the very same Romelu Lukaku he bombed out of Chelsea. Still, Mou backs the Belgian to shine. Well, you’d kinda hope so Jose. You just let Ed spank £75m on him.

Charity shops in Salford, China and South London will be full of “James 10” United shirts after the nailed-on arrival of James Rodriguez from Real Madrid failed to materialise in much the same way as Alvaro Morata disappeared into a puff of smoke. The Colombian has joined Bayern Munich on a two-year loan instead.

Over the road, Manchester City are not having as much fun in the transfer window. Despite calling Pep Guardiola a “genius”, Dani Alves has decided money talks louder than a genius and is off to PSG instead. That in turn means that City will up their interest again in Kyle Walker, and try to persuade him that he was their first choice all along.

It seems that every time Arsenal get close to naming the right price for AS Monaco’s Kylian Mbappe Monaco raise the price. First it was £85m, then it was £110m and now they want £130m. Will Arsene Wenger pay it? It will kill him, but he just might.

Ross Barkley has been left out of Everton’s tour to somewhere or other. I am a bit sketchy on the details, but if Ronald Koeman gets to buy Gylfi Sigurdsson from Swansea City for £50m then Ross will be very much surplus to requirements and might end up somewhere like Bournemouth, Burnley or even Crystal Palace. I don’t know, I literally named three clubs.

Chelsea have been offered Borussia Dortmund’s Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang for £70m. Whether that was a welcome offer to Chelsea or not remains unclear, but Dortmund claim they have received no offers for one of the most talented forwards in Europe.

West Ham really want Manchester City’s Joe Hart. However, it looks a little bit like Joe Hart isn’t that bothered on West Ham.