Brumour! Brumour! Hang on, did Liverpool win the Premier League last night or something?


Calm down, calm down fans of Liverpool FC. Just because you beat Bayern Munich in a meaningless preseason friendly does not mean you are going to win the Premier League any more than Manchester City are because they beat Tottenham, Manchester United are because they signed Romelu Lukaku and Nemanja Matic or Arsenal are because…. well you get the point. Do you think Bayern fans are flocking to social media lamenting the fact that their side is well and truly busted because of that defeat? Hell no. They don’t care in the slightest. Liverpool fans should be more worried about the fact that Daniel Sturridge was fit enough to play for twenty minutes last night. If he keeps being available of 20 minute spells then Klopp might be stupid enough to pick him in actual real matches.

Mauricio Pochettino is getting pretty good at English now and is adept enough to explain clearly to Daniel Levy that if Spurs do not spend something soon then they can kiss goodbye to a second successive second place finish. He probably has a point. According to Poch, it’s not just the lack of money being spent that is the problem. Strikers, such as Alvaro Morata for example, are turning down the chance to play at Wembley for a season because of Harry Kane. Now, I don’t think Kane is sending the lads round, or trolling them on social media warning them not to sign or else, but that breed of striker who actually wants to play matches rather than pick up a weekly wage for doing sod all, ahem Sturridge, are not that keen on joining the queue of strikers below Hazza in the pecking order. I have to feel for Alvaro Morata. He has ended up with his Chelsea boss saying he’d rather buy Harry Kane as well!

There’s a slight flaw in Jose Mourinho’s plan to upgrade the right back position at Manchester United. His target, PSG’s Serge Aurier, is not allowed in the UK for some reason or other. I’m not too sure on the details, shall we just blame Brexit? Yeah, let’s blame Brexit. Either way, Antonio Valencia can probably breathe a huge sigh of relief as he gets yet another season to learn how to play the position.

John Terry pretty much kept a straight face yesterday when he said that winning a promotion with Aston Villa would match any of the honours he won with Chelsea. Yeah good one JT. Even missing that penalty against United in the Champions League Final is a better achievement than winning the promotion with Villa for crying out loud.

Virgil Van Dijk hums a fine tune, apparently. The problem is, the tune he is humming at the moment is the Gino Wijnaldum song that they sing in the stands at Anfield. He’s a subtle type that Virgil.

PSG’s hope of buying Neymar on the never never have been knocked back by Barcelona. It’s £198m up front or no deal according to the Catalan giants. Just pay it and be done with it so we can all move on, please. Apparently, Neymar’s old man stands to make something like £53m from the deal. Suddenly things make a little more sense.

The name Ravel Morrison may ring a few bells. He was allegedly better than Pogba when they were growing up at United together. Somehow he is still at Lazio, trying to rebuild his career yet again. So, we have a talented yet wayward footballer who even Sir Alex Ferguson failed to tame. Who on earth would be interested in signing him then? Yeah, you got it. Birmingham City have approached Lazio to take Ravel on loan and we all know who manages Birmingham, right? The one and only Harry Redknapp. Tears. Tears everywhere before you know it.