The Real Football Man

In terms of opening weekends of the season, the Premier League needs to give itself a big pat on the back for the efforts that we have just recently witnessed. It had just about everything really, thrilling matches, bad defending and Jonjo Shelvey.

Now I’m not saying that football in this country is fixed but if the Premier League did hire a bunch of scriptwriters to plot the drama of last week then I don’t think even they could have dreamt up the action that took place up and down the country.

The opening act took us to The Emirates where we treated to the rare spectacle of Friday Night Football. Now as regular readers (of which there are some) will be aware I am not too keen on the Premier League spilling into this particular evening but if the offerings on the fifth night are that good each time, then I’ll have one every week.

One thing the Premier League will need to ban though if this does become the case is the pub DJ. I don’t think pubs have worked out the fact that the two entitles do not run out hand in hand especially when Rihanna is still being played while Alexander Lacazette scored his first goal for Arsenal.

A seven goal thriller that even had me celebrating Jamie Vardy’s goals, something I do not usually condone but I think I was in full “Anyone but Arsenal” mode that night, add in the factors of alcohol, football returning and the enemy of my enemy is my friend and you can just about understand why I was cheering on The Foxes last Friday.

Something that will not be happening again in a hurry I should hasten to add. The Gunners threw down the gauntlet and said top that to the rest of the Premier League while Watford and Liverpool nearly did with a topsy turvy encounter at Vicarage Road the following lunchtime.

Jurgen Klopp’s men showed how good they are in attack and how bad they are in defence. If Liverpool could score against themselves then they would be able to bag themselves an absolute hatful of goals, unfortunately, though their back line cost them two points as an aversion to heading the ball saw Marco Silva get off the mark as Watford manager.

Then the main event and the most dramatic plot twist of all. Burnley going to Stamford Bridge and beating the defending Premier League champions Chelsea. It’s moments like this that get you hooked for another nine months, not only was Sean Dyche smiling by full time but the bookmakers were also as accumulators were ripped up across England.

Manchester City made easy work of Brighton who it must be said were masters of their own downfall. City always looked like they would find the goal that would break the deadlock while Pep Guardiola looked ready for a night of disco dancing on the South Coast after displaying his smart casual touchline attire.

One thing that you may notice is that Gabriel Jesus is an incredible finisher….of goals that are disallowed. Two were chalked off last Saturday, one for a slightly harsh handball and the other for offside. I guess here you can make a comment about nailing crosses or something like that.

Jonjo Shelvey’s short fuse blew up in spectacular fashion as his stamp on Dele Alli’s ankle saw him rewarded with an early bath. Newcastle were more than holding their own against Tottenham but take a player out of the equation and that was all that Mauricio Pochettino’s men would need to win the game.

The question you have to ask though, is Jonjo Shelvey just stupid? It’s fair to say that footballers are not the brightest bunch but that particular moment of madness just sums up the lack of ineptitude that the former Lord Voldermort actually has.

Manchester United ran out easy winners against West Ham in the final game of the weekend – I’ve watched far too much football this week, I was exhausted by the end from just watching it all. You’re not getting five televised games out of me this weekend….ok 4 then.

Fantasy Football managers up and down the country would have been absolutely delighted with their selection of Romelu Lukaku as captain being handsomely rewarded with a pair of goals against a hapless Hammers outfit. Joe Hart may well be wishing he didn’t answer the phone to David Sullivan and David Gold. Whether they both rung him I’m not too sure

Oh and welcome to Huddersfield who made easy work of Crystal Palace, A 3-0 win for the Yorkshire side saw David Wagner win De Boer War (look it up in Encyclopedia Britannica)

Plus there were some other results but this is an article that this week can definitely be accused of top six bias.

Until next week.