It wasn’t quite as exciting as last week, was it? Mind you, we didn’t have to put up with Burnley vs WBA last week, so week two was always fighting an uphill battle. Nevertheless, here’s the 11 who have made my radar this week, and a figure in the dugout to keep them in check. We’re opting the ultra-modern 3-4-3 this week…
Hugo Lloris – Just stick a leg out mate. The Spurs captain had no chance with Alonso’s first goal, but the second one has gone right through him. He won’t want to see it again but Alonso will. Countless times.
Jose Fonte – If you’re playing against your former team, don’t give away a penalty against them. It’s like rule one in the book I’ve just invented “things not to do against your former club.” It was all a bit needless from Jose, but then maybe he just wanted to help his former employers out?
Kurt Zouma – Something you will hear a lot this season is “I can’t believe Chelsea let him go!” Well, I can’t believe Chelsea let him go. But then you realise he has put in a Man of the Match performance against Arsenal and would you look at that, Chelsea are taking points off rivals without even playing them. So that’s why. Anyway, Zouma was excellent on Saturday and regardless of all the politics, it’s good to see Zouma back to his best after that horrendous injury lay off.
Marcos Alonso – New season, same rules. You score a direct free kick, you’re in the team. What a free kick though, you can’t blame Wembley for that. He scored the all important late winner as well, he definitely earned his spot this week.
Paul Pogba – Credit where it’s due, Pogba has enjoyed an exceptional start to the season. Yes, he was perhaps lucky not to be sent off, but his finish was delightful and he was unlucky not to score more. He looks more at home this season, all it took was a £75m friend.
Harry Arter – It’s always hilarious when things that happen on a Sunday morning creep into the Premier League afternoon. Arter stooped to the level of a pub player to give a shout of “leave it” to Chalobah at Bournemouth on Saturday, and the former Chelsea man duly obliged by giving a glorious dummy. Chalobah had the last laugh though, as Watford left with all three points. I have to say, it’s a very cheap thing to do. I bet he shouts “megs” when he puts it through an opponent’s legs.
Mesut Ozil – Are you sure you want to stay, Mesut? It can’t be nice being called a liability every week. Well, every away match anyway. But yet another away trip has come and gone and Ozil’s involvement has been minimal.
Aaron Mooy – Huddersfield’s first home game as a Premier League club lacked a bit (ok, a lot) of quality but Mooy lit it up very briefly with a well-worked goal just after half time. Whilst Jonjo Shelvey sat at home in disgrace, Huddersfield’s equivalent was securing three points. As Des’ree said: life, ooooh life.
Marko Arnautovic – Way to make friends, Marco. After a less than impressive debut last week, West Ham’s latest gamble decided to elbow Jack Stephens in the throat to earn a red card. What’s probably worse is that the team were far better with 10 men, which is basically a way of saying that if he hadn’t played at all, West Ham would have won. Which is useful for West Ham fans, as he’s going to miss the next three games – probably more once Bilic is finished with him.
Hal Robson-Kanu – Quite the 20 minutes for Hal on Saturday. Get subbed on, score, get sent off. Win the match, miss the next three. This was the only shot on target in a fairly rancid affair, meaning no players who started this match had a shot on target. We love Tony Pulis.
Michy Batshuayi – Poor Michy. He had a shocker last week and was put out of his misery with a place on the bench this week. But then he came on and scored an own goal, giving credence to the theory that it never rains but it pours.
Frank De Boer – A lot has been made of De Boer looking to change the style at Crystal Palace to a more possession based approach. Very admirable – except when you finish the match with Scott Dann partnering Christian Benteke up front in the desperate search for a point. You’re one of us Frank, just admit it. We’re all Tony Pulis deep down.