My Fantasy Football Failings: Look, I didn’t realise Ben Davies was going to play like Roberto Carlos…

Fantasy Football

Yeah. Major faux pas there this week folks. When you are me and languishing in the kind league position Crystal Palace can only dream of the last thing you want to be doing is leaving 14 points on your bench. I actually cannot justify my thinking either. Did I really believe that Liverpool were a better bet to shut out Manchester City were than Tottenham were to keep Everton at bay? What am I? Actually, don’t answer that.

Let’s look at this week’s shambles. And no, that isn’t a nickname.

Ben Foster, 2 points

I actually remembered it was him in goal this week rather than Fraser Forster who has nothing to do with this team whatsoever. I looked at a straight pick between Foster and Heaton and deduced that Brighton’s awful lack of goals would continue whereas Palace would probably spring into life at Burnley. Well, I was one point better off in the end due to Heaton going off injured, but to let in three against Brighton is very unlike West Bromwich Albion. Changing goalkeeper is on my to do list I think.

Joel Matip, 0 points

Was it Joel’s fault Sadio Mane tried to Kung Fu Panda Ederson? No. Would having eleven men on the pitch improved my fantasy score? Probably. But Liverpool were very, very bad. Very bad indeed.

Phil Jones, 1 point

To make things worse, Phil Jones was personally at fault for at least one of the Stoke City goals. I had this down as a nailed on clean sheet. Still, at least I kept Leighton Baines on the bench.

Cesar Azpilicueta, 7 points

Thank Azpi, thank you. This is what I hoped for from at least one of the other defenders I selected this week. An assist and a couple of bonus points are always gratefully received. See that Phil? That’s how you do it.

David Silva, 3 points

David clearly used all his magic for Spain last week. When a team wins 5-0, you’d expect their main play maker to get points for slightly more than not getting subbed and keeping a clean sheet dammit.

Richarlison, 3 points

That said, I’ll take the three points from this lad happily. He got 90, and Watford kept a clean sheet. Mind you, they were playing Southampton which completely justified me picking him ahead of James Ward-Prowse.

Dele Alli, 3 points

A quiet game for Alli, not really getting too involved in Tottenham showing Everton what a top six side looks like. Still, he’ll get plenty more points this season.

Harry Kane, 26 points

Yes, he is back. A brace from Kane brings me in 26 points as he is the captain. This is why I spent the big money on him, he will cover the losses in August very quickly I am sure.

Aaron Mooy, Javier Hernandez and Steve MouniƩ

These boys all get it on tonight (it probably would have made more sense to update everything tomorrow). But, I’ll happily take a 4-4 draw with all three of them scoring at least twice.

So, less the three Monday night players, I have gained 45 points so far. This is 4 points above the average, yet has seen me drop, provisionally, to 29th in our league. There’s a minimum of 6 points coming in tonight I reckon and with a bit of luck I might be in the top 25 come the final whistle this evening.

Looking ahead to next week, do I need to change goalkeepers? West Bromwich Albion are playing West Ham United so my intial thoughts are NO. The only change I can see myself making is dropping Richarlison (playing Manchester City) and bringing in Ben Davies (playing Swansea City) and switching to a 433.

Sounds simple when you put it like that.