Fantasy Football

If I am being completely truthful if it were not for the fact I had committed to writing this rubbish for you each week I’d have binned off this season of Fantasy Football by now. But I am loyal to my paymasters readers and I shall continue, even if it does involve finishing in the Crystal Palace position. Actually, that’s not true. I did pick up some points this week, unlike them.

I shall also reveal the stroke of luck that somehow meant James Ward-Prowse was in my team ahead of Ben Davies. That wasn’t be guessing Davies was going to be benched, I selected him midweek. But, the FFL gods decided not to save that selection meaning I’ve stolen a single point off them. Get the hell in.

Ben Foster, 5 points

The only real shock in the Baggies match against West Ham United was that it finished goalless. I thought the Hammers would concede at least once. Mind you, I’ll take that as five points from a keeper is a decent return to get us underway.

Joel Matip, 2 points

Yes, Joel gets another two points for just showing up. Maybe if he hadn’t let the ball bounce then Burnley wouldn’t have scored? Was it his fault? Not sure actually, but he is guilty by association.

Phil Jones, 6 points

This is why I transferred in Jonesy a few weeks ago. Jose likes him, I like him. United won’t concede too many, so I should get regular points from this man. And he smiled. It didn’t look like it, but he did.

Cesar Azpilicueta, 6 points

A clean sheet against Arsenal? Well, it was expected. Sadly he was unable to create another goal for Alvaro Morata this week but this guy is a must pick all season for me.

James Ward-Prowse, 1 point

He isn’t in favour anywhere at the moment. Jamesy got five minutes off the bench against Crystal Palace meaning he nips in with a single point. Yet, I didn’t mean to pick him. Score!

Aaron Mooy and Richarlison, 2 points each

Nothing to write home about for either of these boys at all. Mooy has done nothing since I brought him in, Huddersfield have slipped since that transfer too. Richarlison was only ever going to give me two points this week as he kept out of the way against Manchester City. High scoring midfield, eh?

David Silva, 1 1 points

All hail the Bald Bomber. David Silva was pulling the strings in the 6-0 thumping of Watford. Two assists, two bonus points and a clean sheet makes him my top scorer this week.

Harry Kane, 4 points

Two points for turning up and hitting the woodwork twice for Harry, doubled as he is skipper. Seriously Harry, stop hitting the woodwork.

Javier Hernandez, 2 points

Little Pea put in a fine shift playing left wing for Slaven Bilic in the shocking 0-0 with WBA. Left wing? I didn’t buy him for this.

So, all that told means I have dropped to 30th in the league and even further worldwide. I hate Fantasy Football this week, and I am expected to give you tips on Friday.

What a joke.

My only tips might be around making panic transfers. Yes, that’s what it’ll be. Me doing panic transfers and probably making things worse.