Fantasy Football

You know what? This isn’t a good idea. Anyone that has been following my “Fantasy Football Failings” this season will know it is called that for a reason. You do not come to be for tips. Hell, I barely even really know what is going on with the rules. But, I have cobbled something together for you in what I believe to be Gameweek 6. Ignore EVERYTHING. I mean it, everything.

The Dilemma

Other than why the hell am I writing this, you mean? OK – looking at each match and putting my own little spin on this…

West Ham welcoming Spurs; now, the Hammers have kept a couple of clean sheets in a row, so does it mean they can be trusted defensively now? If you are foolish enough to believe that then suddenly Joe Hart at £4.5m and Jose Fonte (yeah, I know!) at £4.9m feel like bargains. They have 15 and 17 points respectively which, bizarrely, is more than most of the defenders in my squad. But, more realistically, Harry Kane and Dele Alli will do what Harry Kane and Dele Alli do in London derbies and help themselves. At least, I hope so. They are the mainstays of my XI. If you have Javier Hernandez in your squad, you might be concerned that Bilic is starting to fancy him in a deeper role.

Burnley and Huddersfield don’t really bring much to the table now, which makes me question why I have three players from these clubs in my squad. Mounié of Huddersfield looks like a one-match wonder and Aaron Mooy cannot do it all on his own. As for Burnley, the temptation might be to bring in Chris Wood but his scoring streak will end the moment you bring him in. You know it’s true. Tom Heaton is out for a while, so he could well be transferred out by many.

Everton and Bournemouth are clubs that don’t really know where they are at just yet, and I would imagine there are not too many players in people’s teams from here. However, if you are thinking that Everton have to click sometime soon then you might be looking at Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Gylfi Sigurdsson as the two guys to make something happen, especially against a Bournemouth team always has the potential to crumble. Equally, Everton hardly look organised right now so there is every chance that if Eddie Howe picks Jermain Defoe that he could find himself on the scoresheet.

Manchester City against Crystal Palace will surely only mean one thing. Lots of goals conceded by Palace. Therefore Sergio Aguero must be in the points this week meaning making him captain would be wise. Hell, if you can get Gabriel Jesus in there as well then you shall not regret it.

Southampton welcome Manchester United to St Mary’s and you would have to assume that it’s a clean sheet for Jose’s men. Southampton don’t score freely at home and United, bar the odd blip, don’t appear to be in the habit of giving up goals lightly. The trick will be guessing the backline selected by Mourinho, but for me, Phil Jones still looks great value at £5.1m. Naturally, United will score, and probably score late, so any of Anthony Martial, Romelu Lukaku and Marcus Rashford can be expected to deliver points.

Stoke City vs Chelsea is a trickier one for those of stupid enough to still be reading this. You know Chelsea will win, but you can still see Stoke scoring no matter how bad they are. And, frankly, you probably don’t have enough space left in the attacking roles to slot in Alvaro Morata. I’d pass on this match if I didn’t have Azpi in my side.

Swansea City vs Watford is where bargain hunters might fill their boots. Tammy Abraham at £5.5m still looks good value as he is improving every week and Renato Sanches at £5m is well priced as he gets used to the Premier League. Yet, a 6-0 thumping aside, Watford are a decent team this season and those of us that picked up Richarlison for less than his current price of £6m did OK.

Leicester meet Liverpool again and you’d think Liverpool might have learned from the 2-0 defeat in the week. But is there any value in the Liverpool squad? You’re in trouble if Joe Gomez is your top scoring defender, so I would be urging people to sell any Liverpool defenders if that isn’t stating the bleeding obvious. Mo Salah is getting points, but at £9.2m is he worth it? Probably not. Leicester don’t have a great deal going for them in this context – players that could be considered bargains are not generating points and players who are generating points are not good value. That sucks, eh?

Brighton vs Newcastle does bring a dilemma. Newcastle look good defensively, so Rob Elliot in goal for £4.1m is a good deal. Lascalles has scored the winner in the last two games, so his points have soared but more importantly, he is the leader of a well drilled back line so at £4.6m he is worth a look. However, you run the risk of cursing it by signing either.

Monday night brings you Arsenal and West Bromwich Albion, a game that is hard to call anyway, let alone when you start adding in Fantasy Football thoughts. Will West Brom batter Arsenal from set-pieces? Will Arsenal put in a Rolls Royce attacking performance? I’d say there is a high percentage chance that Arsenal’s attacking game will prevail, but there is not a high chance that it will involve a clean sheet for them. As a result, Granit Xhaka at £5.6m seems to be the best value Arsenal player, but I wouldn’t risk it.


Got to be Sergio Aguero if you are lucky enough to have him, no? Failing that, if like me you thought Harry Kane was a better investment, I’d go with Tottenham’s main man.

So, that’s a long read for something I urge you to ignore. Personally, I’ve talked myself into signing Rob Elliot and Jamal Lascelles so I am off to do the paperwork now!