Ciao Carlo

Carlo Ancelotti has always been one of my favourite managers in football. The A.C Milan side’s he put together between 2002 and 2007 are probably up there with some of the best teams in football history and he has been successful wherever he has gone, winning trophies all over Europe. When Brendan Rodgers was (finally) sacked by Liverpool in October 2015, you can only imagine my utter delight when the two names in the frame were Ancelotti and Jurgen Klopp. Klopp obviously won the race but, should the German ever decide Anfield isn’t for him (the job in question here might interest, you never know), Ancelotti would always be my first choice. So you can only imagine my absolute horror and dismay upon learning that Ancelotti was relieved of his services by Bayern Munich following their 3-0 defeat at the hands of Paris Saint Germain on Wednesday night. I’m about to abandon my Tory-esque jargon here – what fucking joke! Bayern had one of the best managers in the world, I will fight anybody who says otherwise. OK, so they’ve had a dodgy start to the season, a difficult pre-season and suffered what can only be described as a humbling defeat. But it’s Carlo Ancelotti – I challenge anyone to name a manager better equipped for that job? I’ll wait. You can’t because there is no one. I’ll tell you exactly what will happen. Willy Sagnol will keep that job until the summer, Bayern will write this season off and go after Klopp at the end of the season. Well they can get fucked!


If I could be serious here a minute, I’d like to talk about Barcelona. Following the trouble in Catalunya at the weekend, Barcelona were apparently forced to play their fixture against Las Palmas as there was no question over safety. The club responded by having the game played behind closed doors in ‘defiance’ according to club president, Jose Maria Bartomeu. Quite how locking hard working fans out of their seats they have paid good money for is beyond me but good on Barcelona. The debate over football clubs getting involved in political situations has raged for a long time. In my opinion, more clubs should. Barcelona are a symbol for Catalunya as a country and it would be ignorant for the club not to be acknowledge this issue. Tactics used by the Police and Spanish government can only be described as heavy handed. The club has cancelled training for the senior and youth squads today to take part in a nationwide protest against the events during referendum day. I’m not a massive fan of Barcelona as a club but they should be held as a beacon to most clubs here as an example of a club that cares about what is going on outside its stadium/club headquarters walls.

Shit Strikers

That’s enough seriousness for one week, not let’s take the piss out of some awful strikers. The Premier League has been lauded lately for having probably the three deadliest front men in the world in its midst this season in the form of Harry Kane, Alvaro Morata and Romelu Lukaku. What nobody seems to be talking about is the amount of absolute shite that is parading as top division quality. Let’s start with Saido Berahino. Bought by Stoke in January for buttons, Mark Hughes thought he’d won the fucking lottery. Instead Berahino hasn’t scored since arriving at the Britannia (I will never call it anything else) and has offered little else up top. Stoke are that disillusioned that they have even brought called up Peter Crouch from his new day job as a lamp post to score some goals for them. Then there’s Wayne Rooney. It all started so well for Wazza. A dream debut back at Goodison Park saw score the winner against Stoke and, a week later, he socred the equaliser in a 1-1 draw with Manchester City. Since then he has been so poor that Ronald Koeman has let Oumar Niasse back in the big bed and he’s thanked his manager by scoring goals. Imagine being that bad that your manager prefers a striker that he would literally not have pissed on if he was on fire a few weeks back. Then there’s Liverpool. My oh my, are we shit in front of goal. Mohamed Salah needs at least five bites at it to convert, Roberto Firmino is one in three at best and Daniel Sturridge barms his kecks every time the ball comes near him. It’s a good job that the Premier League does have Lukaku, Kane and Morata at the minute because the rest are about as useful as a chocolate fireguard.