Last week, we got tactics and anger. It’s all building up to reach a boiling point in Big Ron Manager.
We begin this week in the boardroom. Basil and the suits are discussing the fallout from the angry man’s ‘exuberant’ celebrations during the win at Bury. They propose an apology to go on Bury’s website which has had a total of five visitors in its history. A number, coincidentally, that is five times higher than the number of Bury supporters in the world. I can imagine his apology would littered with f**ks and c**ts.
Ron appears to pass on his concern about the angry man. The angry man takes it with surprising good grace. It’s always nice to see someone who can admit to their flaws. Remember I said that line because it’ll come up again at some point before this series ends.
We get a local tie against Boston as our opener. Things are spiced up by everyone’s favourite lower league dirtbag Steve Evans who says Posh aren’t good enough. He’s correct. Basil isn’t having it because, after all, he’s a cartoon fox with dodgy eyesight. Funnily enough Posh lose 1-0 to a Boston side Jeff Stelling calls “mediocre”. Angry and Ron are happy enough that the guys tried hard, Basil is not.
Things are looking bleak for the angry man’s job now as the fox is starting to have his doubts. He drinks and smokes before the Easter Monday game at Rochdale where he is, quote, “s***ting myself”. With “4-4-2 man” playing a 3-4-3, the game is awful. Obviously, angry man tells everyone things are going great. Ron actually does something and shouts at them for being lazy f**ks. Naturally, they lose 1-0. Steve talks about “big bollocks”.
Everyone’s all sad now. Angry man finds something to blame finally in the fact that Ron basically pointed out they were a bit s**t. Ron asks the players if he upset them. He did not. We can all see what’s about to happen here. He tells angry man who is clearly just losing his f**king mind now.
We’re prepping for Macclesfield where the angry man has decided to go 4-4-2. That means playing MENSA member Sean St. Ledger at right back. He’s not happy about that because he’s a giant child. He pisses and moans at training and gets dropped. Rightly so. Genius gives an interview where he mumbles that he doesn’t like angry man and that the Steve doesn’t show anyone respect. Erm…
We end up in the boardroom again with Steve having to answer questions as to what has gone wrong. He points out Genius is a brat. Basil decides he’s worth selling so overrules his manager. Obviously. Steve decides to tell Phil Bolland he’s been dropped by Basil. Basil says he’s not. This whole thing is turning into a really s**t episode of Law and Order.
Basil turns to Ron who says speak to him. Basil decides to pick the team instead.
It’s the big day. At home to Macclesfield, Basil gets angry to his office to tell him he’s a useless nonce and he’s picking the team. Steve points out he’s not getting the job. Basil says that’s not true. The people watching at home laugh at his terrible lying. After a passive-aggressive meeting where the angry man tells us he’s good, we head to the dressing room for the greatest moment in TV history.
As Basil goes into his pre-match amble, the angry man very calmly just goes “right fellas, I resign” then walks out. Magic Danny Crow laughs at it. I laughed at it. Basil laughs at it. Some kids who are 90% hair gel tell us he’s gone.
Basil and Ron are running the show now and things look positive. Ron offers deep tactical insight like “stop the crosses”. A back and forth second half and HOLY BALLS Posh win a game. Everyone is happy…