You may remember last week I copped out of putting any effort into doing Premier League Years when I made a list so pointless, a Buzzfeed writer would have been proud of it. So, naturally, I’m doing a second part because it was so easy. Thankfully, I’m forcing myself to make interesting content next week so stay tuned.
Anyway, you may remember that I decided to venture into the dark, murky world of YouTube’s “[insert team] season review” section and boy was I not disappointed. From enough mentions of Mark Pougatch to send me to rehab to the curious sounds of The Goo Goo Dolls to round up an Arsenal season to Burnley with an “African twist”; it was a hell of a ride.
What have we got in store for us this week?
Bolton Wanderers – 2009/2010
There’s plenty wrong with this. For starters, it’s not really a video but more of a Windows XP slideshow with some banging techno in the background. Secondly, it’s a slideshow of the likes of Kevin Davies, Johan Elmander and Ivan Klasnic knocking people over or falling on their arse. Thirdly, the music is completely out of place. At no point in the last 50 years have Bolton been that upbeat or won anything of note making ‘Campione 2000’ a misguided decision.
Manchester United – 2002/2003
This is just a really weird video. The musical tone changes halfway through quite obviously and at some point there is a fifteen second or so montage of Phil Neville tackling people in a game against Arsenal. At one point I’m pretty sure he kills Nicky Butt (already previously murdered against West Brom at the start of the video) when he has the ball. Phil’s never been quite good at getting defending right, has he? Well, Kevin Keegan will be able to tell you all about that *cough* thinly veiled obvious reference to Euro 2000 *cough*.
Tottenham – The Entire AVB Era
In a shock move for many Andre Villas-Boas was given a second season at Spurs where he sold Gareth Bale (treated like a lost lover in this video) and got sacked. I was shocked to research the band Bastille and find that they have more than one song. Who gave enough of a s**t about them to actually listen to their bland music?
Liverpool – 2000/2001
This isn’t terrible but bear with me. My dad got this on VHS and I must have watched it a solid ten times growing up. It brings back so many memories – how great Sami Hyypia was, the brilliance of Gary Mac and just how utterly incompetent Sander Westerveld was. He makes Simon Mignolet look like Lev Yashin.
Anyway, that’ll do it for this lazy list. I’m away to relive that treble-winning season once again because that VHS is superb…