The Real Football Man

That’s it we are in the clear, no more international football until March 2018. If you’ve made it this far then give yourself a large pat on the back but let’s also take a moment for all the men who lost their weekend to Ikea seven days ago

(minutes applause)

And now onto the article itself. Now regular readers (of which there are some) would have seen that I hinted last week that I have absolutely no idea as to what I am going to write about this week, that issue is still very much apparent but stick with me here.

Like someone who plays freeform jazz or perhaps a monkey with a typewriter I’m going to let my fingers do the dancing and whatever comes out at the end of this short burst of keyboard punching will be the end result. Talking of end results….. (that kids is how you segue into an article).

I guess I have to talk about England and their performances over the past week or so, you see I can only talk about it but not really to give too much insight for the simple fact that I did not watch a single minute of either of the two friendlies against Germany or Brazil.

Perhaps from a football columnist point of view that is not ideal but to be honest I feel liberated at the fact that I have not given my soul to the purgatory that is watching the Three Lions as of late, now anecdotal evidence tells me that the two matches were actually quite good.

But then again I think there was a massive dose of Stockholm Syndrome here or should that perhaps be Southgate Syndrome? England fans have been beaten into submission and now have come to actually enjoy the company of our captors. Only this time it is not the IS it is The F.A.

Expectations were so low going into these games that short of 90 minute Mexican wave in each fans in attendance or at home where always going to find some level of entertainment and low and behold the clamour to already get some of these youngsters to Russia has begun.

There’s nothing like a good old knee-jerk is there to fill the gap until March as international football does it’s very best to try and stay relevant over the next six months and that sudden movement in the lower limb is led by the campaign to get Ruben Loftus-Cheek on the plane.

It’s all very well turning it on against a second string German side but surely he needs to be offering a bit more for Crystal Palace. Just because he is young, gifted and all that doesn’t necessarily mean he gets a pass straight into the squad.

Can you really justify his place when everyone is fully fit especially as his team (for this season at least) sit bottom of the Premier League table at present. I said last week this would happen that someone would shine in ludicrous circumstances and now the bandwagon is revved up and ready to go.

Now I may not have watched England but I did watch a whole host of international football over what felt like an eternity and by and large it was pretty awful. Let’s have more World Cup Play-Offs they say, on the evidence of the past week or so I suggest we don’t.

Let’s have a look at the wall of shame shall we?

Honduras 0-0 Australia
New Zealand 0-0 Peru
Switzerland 0-0 Northern Ireland
Greece 0-0 Croatia
Italy 0-0 Sweden

International football has really done itself no favours there has it, an image which is already as tarnished as Rolf Harris hardly improved last week with these absolute dour offerings. It just goes to show when there is so much at stake teams would rather not lose than opposed to win and the only real losers are the poor saps who waste their time watching this muck.

But like any turncoat my bi-annual love affair with the global game will be reignited come June 2018 as I purchase my footballing Russian bride and get ready to do it all over again. I hate international football but I love international football too.