Throwing the Allardyce again
Everton are fucking shit. It’s common knowledge, you don’t need me to tell you that (even if I have done since August. Ah well, I get enjoyment out of telling you anyway). They got a very good win against Watford a couple of weeks ago but, since then, have resorted back to being utter wank. Their star buy in the summer hasn’t scored since October, they have a complete lack of balance in their squad and the caretaker manager they have clearly been test driving for the full time job is now failing spectacularly. To be fair to David Unsworth, he’s been text book caretaker during this period, telling the press how great his squad is and playing some youngsters. It’s just that, well, nobody in that squad is actually very good at all. Special mention though have to go to the double becoming footballs new Paul and Barry Chuckle, Farhad Moshiri and Bill Kenwright. It is now painfully clear they can’t agree on who Ronald Koeman’s successor is so they have resorted to giving a previous candidate for the job whatever he wants, as long as Rhino isn’t in the dugout for a second longer. What an indictment of Unsworths time in charge and Everton as a football club. Looks like OFSTED have been out and shut the School of Science. Time to turn Goodison into the Allardyce Academy. This is going to be boss!
Agga-Dew
Haven’t West Brom fans been through enough over the past two years? First they had to watch Alan Irvine undo all of Pepe Mel’s, ahem, good work. Then they had to suffer Tony Pulis and his 8-1-1 formation. Now they will have to endure the smarminess and sheer twatiness of Alan Pardew. This cunt cannot stay away from football. It’s mad that one decent season at Newcastle has made sure that Pardew will always walk into another job in the mid-table of the Premier League. The managerial merry-go-round, as it is infamously christened, now has a horse reserved for Pardew every eighteen months. We will never get rid of this prick, they will be carrying him out of either a shite mid-table team or a Sky Sports studio in a coffin.
Arse backwards
It’s time of year again Arsenal fans where your team finally decide to actually show up to games. The yearly Christmas resurgence is now underway and was commenced on Sunday at Turf Moor. We all know how this goes by now; Arsenal have a cracking run of form between now and March, go off the boil for the whole of March, then finish strong and claim a Champions League place on the final day. Honestly lads, aren’t you bored of it all? Aren’t you tired of listening to Wenger’s proclamations that he does in fact have a good team? I’m not an Arsenal fan and I can’t even be arsed with your predictability anymore. It’s fucking loathsome to be quite frank boys. Make your minds up – are you going for the title or are you lot happy to be upper mid-table? Please, for the sake of our collective sanity, pigeon-hole yourselves.