When you head into the final game of the week hoping that your new keeper Jordan Pickford can keep a clean sheet, score and get plenty of bonus points you know something has gone wrong.
I mean seriously, what were the chances of Dele Alli, David Silva, Harry Kane and Sergio Aguero getting me just four points between them?
This week is possibly the worst week ever and I don’t just mean because Christmas moves into complete overload.
Jordan Pickford, wait and see
The above isn’t completely out of the question. I mean, they are playing Swansea City.
Ben Davies, 1 point
Once again Benny boy was brought on for one minute in the 4-1 loss. Mind you, that was better than starting I suppose.
Cesar Azpilicueta, 7 points
A rare high point for me this week as Chelsea manage to prevent Southampton from scoring. Yay.
Steven Ward, 0 points
Didn’t play, did he? And Burnley kept a clean sheet. Bummer.
Jamaal Lascelles, 2 points
They only let one in at Arsenal, so we got away with this I think. Well done, Jamaal. Newcastle do actually defend better with him in the team.
Phil Jones, 2 points
I mean, how the hell do you not keep a clean sheet against West Bromwich Albion for crying out loud?
Richarlison, 2 points
Each week that Watford lose I am just grateful that Richarlison doesn’t get booked. Have we seen the best of him now and will he fade in true Watford style?
Dele Alli, 1 point
Plus he’ll get banned for that stamp I reckon. Idiot.
David Silva, 0 points
Mysteriously left out of the side against Spurs. Maybe this means RLC will be included in my points which would be good, seeing he got 6 and all that.
Sergio Aguero, 1 point
Didn’t play a full hour and wasn’t on the pitch when City went goal crazy.
Harry Kane, 1 point
Did play the whole game, honest. Got booked, just to show he was there.
18 points? I’m back down to 30th in the table now which is great seeing I actually put some time and effort into my transfer activity this week.
Hopefully, the players that were not able to play will get automatically replaced – meaning I should pick up 6 from Ruben Loftus-Cheek and maybe 1 from Shinji Okazaki. But realistically, I am not that lucky am I?
Seeing that City have got the title wrapped up, can we just end this now? Go on. Please?