Manchester United

With an 11-point lead, tiki-taka football, and talks of a quadruple on the cards, Christmas is definitely going to be a happy one at the Etihad. United on the other hand have just been knocked out of the Football League Cup to Bristol City, lost their star player Marouane Fellaini to a knee injury, and to rub insult to injury they have to pretend to like Paul Pogba’s ‘short back and disaster’ haircut. Safe to say Manchester is definitely blue this Christmas (especially with United’s fans all being from London).

Thankfully there is finally something for United fans to get excited about this Christmas and that is the release of their fourth kit… that’s right a beautiful fiery red and black kit which is bound to re-spark the ignition of Jose’s professional bus parkers. There’s just one catch though… if you thought about buying it for your fake footballing friend this Christmas then you’re out of luck, because you can’t. Why? Its only available on FIFA 18.

You heard right, Manchester United have official released a football kit on a video game. Look on the bright side, at least it wasn’t on PES. United stopped the presses with their shock announcement that this kit was inspired by the seats inside old Trafford. Yes, the seats (work that one out).

As if it wasn’t bad enough with their fan-created third kit. A design which features a silhouette of Old Trafford and the Holy Trinity statue was described as the worst Premier League jersey in history, they have now released an intangible kit to appease United’s world-famous arm chair fans (around 95% of supporters).

United, along with fellow European giants: Real Madrid, Juventus and Bayern Munich, have all took selling out to a new level by making kits available exclusively to their ‘FIFA fans’. Let me tell you something for free, there is nothing worse than a ‘FIFA fan.’ They are the kind of person who will tell you Pogba is better than De Bruyne because he unpacked him on Ultimate Team. I guess the Ironic part in all this is that United are placed in the same bracket as teams who have a chance of winning their domestic league.

Its clear to see that the ‘Red Devils’ are scrapping the barrel in terms of kit creation. With United relying on fans for their third kit this year, and their fourth kit being based off red seats, it won’t be long until we get a Fellaini inspired kit with an attachable afro hood, which I would certainly be down for.